The ironies of appreciation

A great photo is the one that looks like a painting.

A great painting is the one that looks like a photo.

The list can go on. A great voice is the one that sings like an instrument, effortlessly and impeccably leaping between notes. A great instrumentalist is the one who plays like real voice, that you feel like hearing someone sing. A great father is the one with motherly warmth, a great mother is the one with fatherly protectiveness. A great friend is the one that treats you like family, a great family relation is the one that treats you like friend. A great leader is the one that understands labour, a great labour is the one that understands leadership.

Why did I write this now? I don't know, will come back to this when I know.

A sorry and a thanks we owe them

I woke up to some vedic chanting in a distant temple this morning. I'd forgotten to keep my alarm, but this was such a pleasant one! I sat to study but my concentration was slowly drifting towards them. I was thinking about one of the greatest classes of people this country has ever produced – the Brahmins.

Clear eyes, serene features, peaceful face - you can mostly spot them from a distance. Go to the US and people will tell "You vegetarians from India are really smart people". A Tambrahm is a popular term even there. You can't stop admiring Brahmins for their shrewdness. This country owes a major pie of its knowledge to them, for they were always the knowledge powerhouse of the Indian society. But their contribution is often undermined, for they're not the majority. Nor do they enjoy any kind of good will from the rest of the nation, for humans don't like someone else to remain at the top all the time.

They've struggled hard to reach here. They still keep struggling hard, unfortunately they don't often get what they truly deserve. They live in a country that is scrambling to achieve comprehensive inclusive growth and thence are forcefully discriminated for the so-called welfare of this society. Discrimination though, has been a necessary evil since time immemorial. Regrettably, it's an eye for an eye now! Remorsefully, the wrong eye! Still, just look around, you'll find them holding lead positions in government organizations, private companies, educational institutions and wherever little our discriminatory reward system has allowed them to enter into. We surely owe them the deepest sorry for what we're doing to them right now and an even deeper thanks for all that they've done for us so far.

I hope that one day the children of the brahmin family and the children of the tribe family can hold hands together like brothers and sisters, and step in to shaping India's future, spreading shock waves around the world.

All we moralists

It was during one of our Macroeconomics classes that the professor remarked, "If you keep aside the interest payment trend that Bush senior adopted, Clinton did a remarkable job. That's why you see all these lines go up in the graph during his period as President. You can't blame him for the past sins committed by others. Of course, he committed a different set of sins". And then the class erupted out in wild laughter. It's perfectly fine to crack a joke like this and it's also fine for everyone to have a good laugh at it. I laughed too. But I didn't like the ridicule filled in the laughter that I saw around. How I wish I was able to do this!

"Sir, if you may permit I would like to take one minute of the air time and talk to the class".
"Sure".
"On a scale of 100, let us subtract 50 points for Clinton for his sin. So, his chastity score is 50. Is that fine with everyone?"

Everyone agrees.

"Now each of you take a piece of paper and write 100 at the top. That's your score. If you've ever gazed at a girl on the road amorously, deduct 10 points. If you've ever dashed into an unknown girl with immoral instincts, subtract 15 points. If you've ever watched porn, take off 20 more points. If you ever fantasized a girl in your imaginations, subtract 25 points. If you had a girlfriend and indulged with her before marriage, subtract 30 points. If you've ever been intimate with any other girl other than your wife, subtract the same 50 points. Anyone who has scored above 50 can laugh now."

The class goes into utter silence.

I was not able to do this in class, but I've a place to tell all that I can't tell elsewhere - my blog!

Stay away from yourself, Stop living

1. Relations are material quantifications to an invaluable feeling called love. Stay away from relations.
2. Family is the first boundary that upholds such quantifications. Stay away from such fragmentation.
3. Marriage is an invention to fortify that boundary. Stay away from marriage.
4. Stay away from cruel people who can't equally love all the people in this world.
5. Stay away from vicious people who don't do unto others as they want others do unto themselves.
6. Stay away from spineless people who assume what they do is right because the majority does so.
7. Stay away from biased people who believe there's only one right thing.
8. Stay away from selfish people who are not bothered about the consequence for others.
9. You're the worst person you've ever seen in this world, stay away from yourself. Stop living.

I just realized that I am cruel, vicious, spineless, biased and selfish and that I uphold all kinds of materialistic boundaries and fragments. Darnit!

Hope marriage doesn't make me stupid!

I have a long list of things to preach myself on marriage and its associated nuances. Before my parents tell me some day, "Next week is your marriage, you better get married now" (sob sob!), I need to start my self-preachings. Let me follow my usual strategy of preaching what I think I will find difficult to practice, so I can blackmail myself when I don't follow later. First on the list is what I like to call as "emotional bias".

A friend once told me:
"Though we haven't met each other, I know I'll not be in his good books. His girlfriend doesn't like me. You will mostly not be in the good books of someone, if you're not in good terms with his girl. Same the other way too".

A few days back, I was hearing from some other friend of mine:
"I think it was just a few months after marriage. I remember when I called her cousin and shouted at him badly for making my wife cry for something. How stupid of me! Later I got to know that it was actually my wife's mistake. Even otherwise, it was stupid. I felt really embarrassed. But her family is so cool. Her cousin just laughed it off later."

I'm able to guess that such feelings shouldn't be very uncommon. I remember, as a child, I used to blindly presume that whoever makes my mom sad is bad, and whoever doesn't is good. Forget about those who make my mom cry, they will immediately become my villains. They call it the "confirmation bias", a bias that favours one's own preconceptions. I thought people will grow beyond such biases over time. But if you ask my strategy professor, he'll say it only worsens as people grow old. Why ask my strategy prof? Ask me, I know I've only grown worse with all those biases. Forget the confirmation bias, shouldn't we at least grow beyond such "emotional bias"?

So what if my wife cries because she fought with her cousin? Of course, I will give her the moral support and if I can I will try to pacify both of them and help them make peace with each other. But I don't want to make the foolish mistake of falling into the trap of this emotional bias. I'm sure I'll make her cry more number of times than she ever cried all her childhood. Probably her cousin should call me everyday and scold me.

Hope marriage doesn't make me stupid!

Some thoughts that have long been in my queue

I have been wanting to write about some of these thoughts below. But I've been postponing them ever since I landed here in ISB. At least let me jot them down now, so I can expand on them some day (?).











1. It is so easy for people below to criticize those at the top. I've seen this happen in school, I've heard this in office and I keep witnessing this everywhere. "If I study as much as he does, I'll also score equally, what's the big deal?", "Come on, he doesn't deserve to be promoted, what has he done?", "I wonder how he became the manager. I can do a better job than what he does". Saying these for fun or out of frustration is fine, but when people mean it seriously, I get reminded of myself a few years back. I used to feel the same way too. But I would tell myself - "Who stops you? Go, become. They're there because they've done something to win the choice of those who're supposed to make that choice. Yes, sometimes there are undeserving rewards, but that's life. I'm sure you've not got everything in your life only because you deserved every bit of it. Are you sure if you reach that position there will not be anyone talking the same way about you?"

2. This is a little silly, but it taught me something. I have seen some people reply to every mail, every missed call and every message, and I've also seen people who don't reply unless you call them and prod them, both in the professional and personal life. Looking at people who don't reply, I thought it was a cool thing to do until I got a manager who sincerely replied to every mail he received, even if it meant just sending a ":-)". Some day during a conversation, someone said "I'm not sure if he read my e-mail", for which people around starting replying "Oh, don't worry, he is such a sweet person. He would've replied had he seen it", "Oh yes, he would at least send an ok, if he has seen your e-mail". And he was one of the most respected senior managers in my office. Yes, respect is not about one thing, it's about every small thing.

3. Over the last few years I've spent sufficient amount of time thinking about relationships. I've talked so much with people, and I've been through a few hiccups myself. But almost every person I've talked with, who has lost a good friendship or love has without exception told "Your heads will hit only when you come close, not when you stay far. If they don't hit, you might have to perhaps evaluate if you really got that close. How I wish we could get back to our old days!" But if everyone feels the same way, why are most broken relationships not repaired?

Let us take a married couple - they fight with each other more than they've ever fought with all others all their lives. Still they go on. Maybe is it then out of compulsion? Partly yes, but mostly I would say no. It is the deep emotional bond that brings them back on track every time. Why is this not always the case when it comes to people beyond our homes? No offense meant to all those who go all out reviving a lost relation or who have genuine reasons not to do so. But I don't think that's the case in general. I know a friend who had sent at least some 50 mails to her old friend, not to get even one reply. No one can be right all the time - not me, not you, not anyone. So, why not just forgive or forget, who knows, the mistake was probably yours.

4. I feel human growth process is cyclic. If you're perfect in something, the only way to improve is to go beyond your perfection limits and try something new. In the process, you might fall a little below your original perfection levels, but I'm sure you'll only become more perfect when you come out of that learning loop. If such is the case for an original perfection, I don't think we should shrug when we fall from an original imperfection. It mostly means we're on the path towards perfection. I can give my own example. I was that passive boy in school who no one would've seen get angry. Even today, not many would agree that I can get angry. But I know I'm not how I used to be in school. I started feeling frustrated and getting angry looking at many imperfections in this world as I grew. But only when I grew enough that I realized I'm not perfect myself. That's when I learnt the art of controlling my anger. Of course, I've not mastered it, but I surely know something more than what I knew earlier.

A long pending list of things to write is off my queue now. As always, these are my personal views and I'm still thinking about these. I might probably write a post a few years later totally contradicting what I've written here ... after all my growth is cyclic too.

It's not just you

It's 3:00 am on a Sunday and I'm working. I used to feel frustrated when I've to stay up late during college days, but not any longer. One obvious reason is that I've realized it is me who has voluntarily chosen this life, so there's absolutely no point feeling frustrated about it.

But there's a second subtle reason behind my lack of frustration. While I was traveling in a taxi once, I learnt from the driver that most of the cab services in India operate drivers in a full-day shift. They got to stay awake for 24 hours and then they can take off for the next 24 hours, but the latter is not guaranteed. I was talking to a couple of doctors, now students at ISB, and was totally surprised to know that they have regular 36-hour shifts and worse, they can get woken up anytime.

I was chatting with a few working couples and their plights seem to be even worse. Most of them sleep post midnight and wake up by six, almost everyday. Forget about those with children. I was talking to a senior executive in a company and he was telling me how he has a tough time keeping his people at home and his over-demanding boss happy at the same time. So, people at the top are not any better off either.

These are just simple examples of the manifold inclemencies of life. Life is a roller coaster and you can survive only if you enjoy every moment - every up and every down, every struggle and every success, every boon and every bane - unless you want to admit you lack the will and get out of it. No pain, no gain. If you're wondering "Why me?", be assured that it's not just you!

Be good at what you're good at

Another cricket article - you don't have to know cricket, you don't have to know about Yuvraj - but this can motivate you whenever you feel you were let down. I'm not posting this to opine about Yuvraj, but just storing it because I'm sure this will be useful at some point in everyone's life - no one can be at the top all the time after all. Self-pity, anger, emotional support - none of these will take you to where you are supposed to reach. There's no substitute for hard work, no better motivator than passion and no better teacher than introspection.

It takes two to tango

I was having an interesting conversation with someone and she was telling me about why she feels guys are strong in rational intelligence and girls are strong in emotional intelligence. We spoke a little bit about conflicts, we talked about why someone thinks he or she is right in an argument, etc. After we got bored scoring our goals, we decided to score some self-goals. One of her self-goals impressed me. I'm writing it here with her permission.

She said "I can tell you why I keep thinking I'm always right and my husband is always wrong. It's because he mostly doesn't tell me when I'm wrong. For example, before we got married, I once made him wait for very long on a chat. When I pinged him back, he was just cool. But a couple of months later, when he made me wait on a chat, I just blasted him. He just told he was sorry. But it was only after our marriage that I recollected both the incidents and apologized. But had we broken up, not necessarily because of such a small incident, but because of accumulated such small incidents, we would've both lost each other. You know, problems can just blow up in a relation."

This reminded me of something I heard on TV a while ago. A couple seeking separation goes to an elderly man in the town for advice. The man picks up a piece of string and says "I will hold one end, you both pull from the other end. If the string snaps, you both can break up". Evidently surprised, the couple agreed to the experiment. The moment the couple started pulling the string, the man moved towards them. The more they pulled, the more the man moved. The string obviously didn't snap. The lesson was obvious. The couple just thanked the man and went away.

"Never regret anything that once made you smile" - how true! Yes, any relationship, love or friendship, is about two people and I don't think there's anything as the right or wrong thing. Good or bad - both of them will have to take equal responsibilities. There are not many in this world who wish good for us, why shrink that even further? Now, why did I write this? Just to keep reminding myself for the rest of my life that it indeed takes two to tango.

Survival vs Morality

I was reading this article about cricket laws that need changing - http://bit.ly/aRrSNR.

Ban overthrows for direct hits

A pet peeve of Sunil Gavaskar's. Why should a fielder pay for a direct hit, a show of excellence?

Also, rewrite the laws so a batsman can't take an overthrow when the ball ricochets off his bat while he is trying to slide it into the crease. Why appeal to his spirit of sportsmanship and hope he doesn't take the run? As of today, some do, some don't, and it sometimes leads to conflicts among players. Would the batsman who refuses to take the extra run in most situations do the same if he requires that run off the last ball to win a World Cup final?

I saw Tendulkar not walk off by himself when he nicked one to the keeper during the IPL - I know he usually does walk off. For a moment I felt betrayed but I was able to realize that he has to compensate for some of the harsh umpiring decisions that have gone against him too. Either follow your conscience or follow the law - if you follow both, you're overly giving yourself a tough time. Saraswat Brahmins started eating fish after a severe famine hit their region. If they didn't do that, probably there might not be any Saraswat living today. If Saraswats were not wrong, I don't think Tendulkar was wrong either.

I think it's just a reason of survival, and survival is not necessarily about just life and death - there are so many spells between life and death and we need to survive each one of those. Even otherwise I don't think we've any right to talk about someone else when it comes to subjective decision making. On a number of occasions we ourselves don't stand for what we should stand for. We go against our principles to make either ourselves happy or someone else happy. Interestingly, most of the times we successfully manage to convince ourselves that we in fact did the right thing. Many of those could be trivial, but I don't think that's a valid excuse.

If we think someone's bad, maybe we'll find no worse person than ourself? If we think someone's a hypocrite, maybe we'll not find a sorrier hypocrite than ourself? If we think someone's selfish, maybe we'll tag ourself the most selfish? I would think so, because each one of us needs to survive - and no one else knows our own survival instincts more than we do. I think all it requires is just some introspection and some honesty.

I typed till the line above and went back to read it all over again - I think I should just stop here and let each of us continue with our own ways of legitimate survival. I'm sure the legal systems of our consciences are much stricter than any other legal system documented.

An ad we created for a case presentation

This was for one of the presentations we had to do in class for a marketing assignment. We were supposed to come up with, what these people like to call as strategy and I like to call as nonsense, and end it with an ad. We decided to do a video ad. The case is about a niche consumer electronics retail store facing competition from huge discount stores. The store had to uniquely position itself to survive. Whether the store survived or not, we survived through the case.

What next? A quiz tomorrow, three more assignment submissions this week and end-term exams next week. But who cares about all this - I'm just waiting to go to Bangalore to see my girlfriend. Oh wait, she's now officially become my wife - the house warming happened earlier this week. I wasn't able to go, so the wedding happened without me. Friends in Bangalore, please don't mind for not inviting you - I wasn't even there to invite you. It was just a small formality-ceremony.

Girlfriend in Hyderabad, wife in Bangalore - I'm loving it!

Start the music, continue the dance

Some of you had asked me to keep writing about my time in ISB. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do that, but whenever I can squeeze it in, I surely will, as I've done now. I know some of you are MBA aspirants, so I'll keep that in my mind while I write.

First things first, ISB is indeed a great school with almost everything you could expect from a top educational institution - a truly world class curriculum, a strong faculty and state-of-the-art facilities. You've a wi-fi campus, e-enabled course delivery structure, classrooms with tablet PCs, air-conditioned "student villages", huge lawns, the list can go on. The visiting professors in ISB otherwise teach at the top B-schools of the world. The resident faculty is doing good amount of research work, else ISB couldn't have figured in the global FT rankings.

But if you join ISB instead of Kellogg just because FT puts ISB ahead, I would ask you to reassess. You must understand that "India is held back by a financial system that is reluctant to invest in unproven ideas, an education system that emphasizes rote learning over problem solving, and a culture that looks down on failure and unconventional career choices." How much ever globalized it be, a B-school in India is cuffed by these truths. Sure, you're going to meet smart people but you need to set your expectations right, if you're evaluating ISB for yourself.

Let us get back to discussing about the school. When a two-year program is wrung to eleven months, you obviously got to be prepared for a fully packed schedule right from day one. First week is the orientation week when you get all the gyan about what all ISB can do to you and what all you can do to ISB. The O-week as it's called, is the hand off week from the previous batch. Don't be surprised if you get an 11:00 pm meeting invite on a Sunday from the Business & Technology Club.

The second week is the week of pre-terms that covers some of the basic concepts you'll require during the marathon. But from the week after that when your regular courses start, you don't have time to even realize what you've gotten into. There're only two 2-hour classes everyday, but the system ensures that you will not know when it's day and when it's night. There're no classes on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but the system will again ensure that you really don't know when it's a weekday and when it's the weekend.

You've pre-reads for every class. Most profs will assume that you've done the pre-read and will just rush through the content during the class. If you don't follow in the class, you're going to be having a tough time. Because when you come home, you need to prepare for the next day's class. It's almost impossible to catch up during the weekend because you'll have a couple of assignments to submit before Monday 8 am, you might have a case submission, you'll have a quiz in at least one of the classes - and these are just the few possible things.

This goes on for two weeks and you suddenly see Mid-Term exams in your calendar. What? Yes, every term is only for five weeks and there're eight such terms. So there're mid-terms after two weeks and end-terms after five weeks. You'll have to master four courses during this time. There's a 5-day break between terms (including the weekend), but you've a footnote that says workshops, projects and leadership trainings will be scheduled during this time. Wow! Now the big question - how many hours of sleep do you get everyday? Well, I leave that to your imagination. But then amidst all of this, you find one thing that never misses in ISB - fun. You've parties every week, you can see people chilling out in the pool, playing in the recreation centre, going out for dinner.

Life is always about dancing, to different music, isn't it? One such music has begun a few weeks back for the 580 of us and we've all started to enjoy dancing for it.

Where are my wings?

Friends, I have been making a short film with a childhood friend of mine. It started as "Can your band do music for my film?" and then we both worked together for six months on the hundreds of rushes (technical term for video clips of a movie) that were shot in the slums of Bangalore. Most part of the story is inspired by the interactions we have had with, stories we have listened from and the shoveling we have done in the slums. The 18-min film revolves around the life of a rag-picker.

I was first swept off when I saw the effort my friend had put into acting in the film. I was swept off for the second time when I heard the first draft of the song. Meanwhile, I was just happy doing the cut-copy-pastes, so I became the editor.

Direction - Sukiyan, Music - Agam, Editing - Myself. All rights reserved.

In case you're not able to access it, try here.

And dollars to make before I wake

I let the romantic me write this post first. But at the middle of it, I felt "This is not what I really feel". So, I let the unromantic me recompose it. But at the end of this I felt "Can I be happy ever?" If I've to be true to myself, I've to store both.

This is not what I really feel

I had seen her sometime ago, but it was just part of the exploration. When I went there again after a few weeks, late in the evening, I was surprised to see that the street dogs weren't barking at me. Did they already know I belonged to this place? I brought my parents later and they liked her too. But I found the girl too rustic and knew we will surely take a long time to adapt to each other’s ways. So, the discussions about this girl were suspended in thin air.

For three years, my parents kept reminding me about this girl. Meanwhile, the memories of my love also kept haunting me. Destiny as you would call, there were hurdles everywhere. I told my parents “I am still ruminating in the thoughts of my love. But, I'll surely recover, just give me some more time”.

I used this time to not just recover, but also to adapt myself to the girl even as I saw the girl adapt herself to me. I also sought out to some enlightenment from religious books that bolstered my beliefs - “Just because you know someone in this birth, don’t take ownership of or dependency on the person. Do you know how you were related in your previous birth, or how you will be related in your next birth?” I used to disbelieve in all these, but now I’ve stopped to disbelieve in things that I don’t know anything about.

During our courtship period, I started to realize what true love is. I surely had to compromise, but every time I did that, I heard thanks off her lips. She was no less; if I tried hard, she tried harder. Slowly, both of us began to understand what each other wanted. Not just in the bedroom, our love was shimmering all over the house, even in the kitchen.

Can I be happy ever?

A few years back I had a small problem in my leg - from a small pressure while walking to a gentle hobble and then to a visible limp, it aggravated in the span of a few months. For the medical illiterate that I was, I ignored it until I wasn't able to walk even across a street continuously. I finally met a doctor and took a few tests. And then was the great evening that I can never forget. The doctor lambasted me for ignoring the problem for so long and wondered how I managed to walk all these months. He even told me this could be because of the same bacteria that causes tuberculosis. I just smiled and the doctor was surprised. Obviously, he wouldn't know I smile like a fool for everything.

Thankfully, it was just a small lump that had created a swelling inside and it just vanished after I took on to jogging for a month; that's the magic of being young. But between the evening the doctor blasted me and the evening when he actually confirmed that this was not even an infection, I had the most introspective nights of my life. Of what use have I been to this world so far that if at all I have to succumb to destiny's whip, I can rest in some peace. Well, I had not been useful to even my family so far, the world was still far ahead. The best of those introspective nights was when I recollected a chapter in elementary school on "serving the people".

A doctor was the first on that chapter. I thought well, everyone can't be a doctor, but people can at least try to be of some help to those who come to them for problems. An engineer was next on the list. All of us can't be engineers, but we can at least think scientifically when confronted by disastrous human emotions. A teacher was next. Again, not each of us can be a teacher, but we can surely make an unbiased effort to know what is right and what is not. The list went on and ended with a firefighter. But the quest started then and hasn't ended.

That was when I began to appreciate one of Gandhi's famous quotes - "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." But as my memories of limping faded away, my thoughts about people also faded away and I stand before you having taken care of Me, Myself and Naren. One of the greatest testimonials of that is what now stands on the plot I'd bought four years back. “Make your first one million dollars and then think about doing anything different” – as long as I remember these words from whom I consider my mentor, I will continue to showcase even bigger such testimonials in the future. Yes, until I wake, I've dollars to make!

Where art thou?

Tomorrow the parliament is going to vote on women's reservation bill. Where're the patriots who opposed caste-based reservations? Where's the media that tore apart the supporters? Where're the egalitarians who staged protests? Where're the doctors who did not attend to their patients so that they can participate in the strikes? Are they all silent because they know at least the women of their families will get benefited out of this as opposed to no one in the case of caste-based reservations? Or are they just tired having to protest for everything? But I won't agree that the media is tired. Either oppose both or support both.

Can we get more selfish? Can we get more biased? Can we get more hypocritical? If the men of the society didn't create fairgrounds for the women, then the men better be taught a lesson and the women better be given justice. If the upper caste didn't create fairgrounds for the lower caste, then let the same justice prevail there too. It's so hard to practice what we believe, but at least let us make an attempt to talk what we believe. I'm extremely sorry if I'm out of touch with news, but I don't think there's wide-spread protest against women's reservation. I'm equally sorry if I've failed to note the difference between the two reservations.

But I'm happy that people have started to realize what reservation means and have begun to accept to pay for their mistakes.

Please take care

"How about morning at 8:30?"

"I have to drop my kid at school."
"Ok, how about 8:30 in the night?"
"I would just be putting my kid to sleep."
"But later than that will be difficult for you, right?"
"At 10:00? I would just have finished dinner and cleaned vessels."
"But why do you've to attend. I'll take care. You just take rest."
"No, I want to dial in."

If someone replies like that when you ask what will be the best time for a call with the US folks, you really don't know what to do. I just felt like writing a post dedicated to all mothers, but I don't think I can do any justice. All of you mothers, please accept my humble token of both appreciation and gratitude.

The egg that created the chicken

I used to wonder how this world became such an interlocked place of extreme dependency. Today, I thought about it again, when I looked at this picture.

If we just have to live alone in a jungle, we would almost not need to depend on anyone. But in an attempt to protect ourselves, we might try to cling. In the process, we might enjoy the feeling of being together. However, when we start thinking about what remains after we're gone, we probably would think of leaving something after us. That is when we would try to bring in more things and people around, including our own children. From here on it doesn't take long to transform our thoughts into creating what we call a society.

But we never realize the intensity of what we just created until we get overwhelmed by it. We slowly start to depend on the various elements that constitute a society. One fine day when we realize "Ah, did we just create a chicken-and-egg problem?", we start questioning ourselves. We try our first line of defense. Without realizing that it was we who created the system, we start listing down its absurdities.

First, we require people to give us things that we wouldn't have otherwise needed in a simpler system. Absurd! Second, we cannot always give back to people whom we take it from. More absurd! Third, from a cooperative mode that we thought our society would behave, we get into an ambitious mode where cooperation is a nice-to-have. Even more absurd! You can continue to grow this list of absurdities and it can get quite complicated.

Surely, the society is a good and a bad creation of mankind that comprises of many dimensions that are built upon some of the weirdest chicken-and-egg problems, of which dependency is just one dimension. As you keep thinking along these lines, you traverse through thoughts about selfishness and about usefulness. And then you go back many years and try to dig out the purpose of your birth. Now you get stumped.

You don't know how to begin because the start is the universe. You attempt to reverse-engineer and try to find out how it could end. Even that doesn't help because the end is also the universe. Does the sum of all our lives add up to zero or to eternity? Now you're confused whether the system is absurd or you're absurd. That's when you most probably try to give up, because your eyes are already closing, asking for sleep. You need to address more dependency concerns of either yours or of others, the next day.