Hope marriage doesn't make me stupid!

I have a long list of things to preach myself on marriage and its associated nuances. Before my parents tell me some day, "Next week is your marriage, you better get married now" (sob sob!), I need to start my self-preachings. Let me follow my usual strategy of preaching what I think I will find difficult to practice, so I can blackmail myself when I don't follow later. First on the list is what I like to call as "emotional bias".

A friend once told me:
"Though we haven't met each other, I know I'll not be in his good books. His girlfriend doesn't like me. You will mostly not be in the good books of someone, if you're not in good terms with his girl. Same the other way too".

A few days back, I was hearing from some other friend of mine:
"I think it was just a few months after marriage. I remember when I called her cousin and shouted at him badly for making my wife cry for something. How stupid of me! Later I got to know that it was actually my wife's mistake. Even otherwise, it was stupid. I felt really embarrassed. But her family is so cool. Her cousin just laughed it off later."

I'm able to guess that such feelings shouldn't be very uncommon. I remember, as a child, I used to blindly presume that whoever makes my mom sad is bad, and whoever doesn't is good. Forget about those who make my mom cry, they will immediately become my villains. They call it the "confirmation bias", a bias that favours one's own preconceptions. I thought people will grow beyond such biases over time. But if you ask my strategy professor, he'll say it only worsens as people grow old. Why ask my strategy prof? Ask me, I know I've only grown worse with all those biases. Forget the confirmation bias, shouldn't we at least grow beyond such "emotional bias"?

So what if my wife cries because she fought with her cousin? Of course, I will give her the moral support and if I can I will try to pacify both of them and help them make peace with each other. But I don't want to make the foolish mistake of falling into the trap of this emotional bias. I'm sure I'll make her cry more number of times than she ever cried all her childhood. Probably her cousin should call me everyday and scold me.

Hope marriage doesn't make me stupid!

Some thoughts that have long been in my queue

I have been wanting to write about some of these thoughts below. But I've been postponing them ever since I landed here in ISB. At least let me jot them down now, so I can expand on them some day (?).











1. It is so easy for people below to criticize those at the top. I've seen this happen in school, I've heard this in office and I keep witnessing this everywhere. "If I study as much as he does, I'll also score equally, what's the big deal?", "Come on, he doesn't deserve to be promoted, what has he done?", "I wonder how he became the manager. I can do a better job than what he does". Saying these for fun or out of frustration is fine, but when people mean it seriously, I get reminded of myself a few years back. I used to feel the same way too. But I would tell myself - "Who stops you? Go, become. They're there because they've done something to win the choice of those who're supposed to make that choice. Yes, sometimes there are undeserving rewards, but that's life. I'm sure you've not got everything in your life only because you deserved every bit of it. Are you sure if you reach that position there will not be anyone talking the same way about you?"

2. This is a little silly, but it taught me something. I have seen some people reply to every mail, every missed call and every message, and I've also seen people who don't reply unless you call them and prod them, both in the professional and personal life. Looking at people who don't reply, I thought it was a cool thing to do until I got a manager who sincerely replied to every mail he received, even if it meant just sending a ":-)". Some day during a conversation, someone said "I'm not sure if he read my e-mail", for which people around starting replying "Oh, don't worry, he is such a sweet person. He would've replied had he seen it", "Oh yes, he would at least send an ok, if he has seen your e-mail". And he was one of the most respected senior managers in my office. Yes, respect is not about one thing, it's about every small thing.

3. Over the last few years I've spent sufficient amount of time thinking about relationships. I've talked so much with people, and I've been through a few hiccups myself. But almost every person I've talked with, who has lost a good friendship or love has without exception told "Your heads will hit only when you come close, not when you stay far. If they don't hit, you might have to perhaps evaluate if you really got that close. How I wish we could get back to our old days!" But if everyone feels the same way, why are most broken relationships not repaired?

Let us take a married couple - they fight with each other more than they've ever fought with all others all their lives. Still they go on. Maybe is it then out of compulsion? Partly yes, but mostly I would say no. It is the deep emotional bond that brings them back on track every time. Why is this not always the case when it comes to people beyond our homes? No offense meant to all those who go all out reviving a lost relation or who have genuine reasons not to do so. But I don't think that's the case in general. I know a friend who had sent at least some 50 mails to her old friend, not to get even one reply. No one can be right all the time - not me, not you, not anyone. So, why not just forgive or forget, who knows, the mistake was probably yours.

4. I feel human growth process is cyclic. If you're perfect in something, the only way to improve is to go beyond your perfection limits and try something new. In the process, you might fall a little below your original perfection levels, but I'm sure you'll only become more perfect when you come out of that learning loop. If such is the case for an original perfection, I don't think we should shrug when we fall from an original imperfection. It mostly means we're on the path towards perfection. I can give my own example. I was that passive boy in school who no one would've seen get angry. Even today, not many would agree that I can get angry. But I know I'm not how I used to be in school. I started feeling frustrated and getting angry looking at many imperfections in this world as I grew. But only when I grew enough that I realized I'm not perfect myself. That's when I learnt the art of controlling my anger. Of course, I've not mastered it, but I surely know something more than what I knew earlier.

A long pending list of things to write is off my queue now. As always, these are my personal views and I'm still thinking about these. I might probably write a post a few years later totally contradicting what I've written here ... after all my growth is cyclic too.

It's not just you

It's 3:00 am on a Sunday and I'm working. I used to feel frustrated when I've to stay up late during college days, but not any longer. One obvious reason is that I've realized it is me who has voluntarily chosen this life, so there's absolutely no point feeling frustrated about it.

But there's a second subtle reason behind my lack of frustration. While I was traveling in a taxi once, I learnt from the driver that most of the cab services in India operate drivers in a full-day shift. They got to stay awake for 24 hours and then they can take off for the next 24 hours, but the latter is not guaranteed. I was talking to a couple of doctors, now students at ISB, and was totally surprised to know that they have regular 36-hour shifts and worse, they can get woken up anytime.

I was chatting with a few working couples and their plights seem to be even worse. Most of them sleep post midnight and wake up by six, almost everyday. Forget about those with children. I was talking to a senior executive in a company and he was telling me how he has a tough time keeping his people at home and his over-demanding boss happy at the same time. So, people at the top are not any better off either.

These are just simple examples of the manifold inclemencies of life. Life is a roller coaster and you can survive only if you enjoy every moment - every up and every down, every struggle and every success, every boon and every bane - unless you want to admit you lack the will and get out of it. No pain, no gain. If you're wondering "Why me?", be assured that it's not just you!

Be good at what you're good at

Another cricket article - you don't have to know cricket, you don't have to know about Yuvraj - but this can motivate you whenever you feel you were let down. I'm not posting this to opine about Yuvraj, but just storing it because I'm sure this will be useful at some point in everyone's life - no one can be at the top all the time after all. Self-pity, anger, emotional support - none of these will take you to where you are supposed to reach. There's no substitute for hard work, no better motivator than passion and no better teacher than introspection.

It takes two to tango

I was having an interesting conversation with someone and she was telling me about why she feels guys are strong in rational intelligence and girls are strong in emotional intelligence. We spoke a little bit about conflicts, we talked about why someone thinks he or she is right in an argument, etc. After we got bored scoring our goals, we decided to score some self-goals. One of her self-goals impressed me. I'm writing it here with her permission.

She said "I can tell you why I keep thinking I'm always right and my husband is always wrong. It's because he mostly doesn't tell me when I'm wrong. For example, before we got married, I once made him wait for very long on a chat. When I pinged him back, he was just cool. But a couple of months later, when he made me wait on a chat, I just blasted him. He just told he was sorry. But it was only after our marriage that I recollected both the incidents and apologized. But had we broken up, not necessarily because of such a small incident, but because of accumulated such small incidents, we would've both lost each other. You know, problems can just blow up in a relation."

This reminded me of something I heard on TV a while ago. A couple seeking separation goes to an elderly man in the town for advice. The man picks up a piece of string and says "I will hold one end, you both pull from the other end. If the string snaps, you both can break up". Evidently surprised, the couple agreed to the experiment. The moment the couple started pulling the string, the man moved towards them. The more they pulled, the more the man moved. The string obviously didn't snap. The lesson was obvious. The couple just thanked the man and went away.

"Never regret anything that once made you smile" - how true! Yes, any relationship, love or friendship, is about two people and I don't think there's anything as the right or wrong thing. Good or bad - both of them will have to take equal responsibilities. There are not many in this world who wish good for us, why shrink that even further? Now, why did I write this? Just to keep reminding myself for the rest of my life that it indeed takes two to tango.

Survival vs Morality

I was reading this article about cricket laws that need changing - http://bit.ly/aRrSNR.

Ban overthrows for direct hits

A pet peeve of Sunil Gavaskar's. Why should a fielder pay for a direct hit, a show of excellence?

Also, rewrite the laws so a batsman can't take an overthrow when the ball ricochets off his bat while he is trying to slide it into the crease. Why appeal to his spirit of sportsmanship and hope he doesn't take the run? As of today, some do, some don't, and it sometimes leads to conflicts among players. Would the batsman who refuses to take the extra run in most situations do the same if he requires that run off the last ball to win a World Cup final?

I saw Tendulkar not walk off by himself when he nicked one to the keeper during the IPL - I know he usually does walk off. For a moment I felt betrayed but I was able to realize that he has to compensate for some of the harsh umpiring decisions that have gone against him too. Either follow your conscience or follow the law - if you follow both, you're overly giving yourself a tough time. Saraswat Brahmins started eating fish after a severe famine hit their region. If they didn't do that, probably there might not be any Saraswat living today. If Saraswats were not wrong, I don't think Tendulkar was wrong either.

I think it's just a reason of survival, and survival is not necessarily about just life and death - there are so many spells between life and death and we need to survive each one of those. Even otherwise I don't think we've any right to talk about someone else when it comes to subjective decision making. On a number of occasions we ourselves don't stand for what we should stand for. We go against our principles to make either ourselves happy or someone else happy. Interestingly, most of the times we successfully manage to convince ourselves that we in fact did the right thing. Many of those could be trivial, but I don't think that's a valid excuse.

If we think someone's bad, maybe we'll find no worse person than ourself? If we think someone's a hypocrite, maybe we'll not find a sorrier hypocrite than ourself? If we think someone's selfish, maybe we'll tag ourself the most selfish? I would think so, because each one of us needs to survive - and no one else knows our own survival instincts more than we do. I think all it requires is just some introspection and some honesty.

I typed till the line above and went back to read it all over again - I think I should just stop here and let each of us continue with our own ways of legitimate survival. I'm sure the legal systems of our consciences are much stricter than any other legal system documented.

An ad we created for a case presentation

This was for one of the presentations we had to do in class for a marketing assignment. We were supposed to come up with, what these people like to call as strategy and I like to call as nonsense, and end it with an ad. We decided to do a video ad. The case is about a niche consumer electronics retail store facing competition from huge discount stores. The store had to uniquely position itself to survive. Whether the store survived or not, we survived through the case.

What next? A quiz tomorrow, three more assignment submissions this week and end-term exams next week. But who cares about all this - I'm just waiting to go to Bangalore to see my girlfriend. Oh wait, she's now officially become my wife - the house warming happened earlier this week. I wasn't able to go, so the wedding happened without me. Friends in Bangalore, please don't mind for not inviting you - I wasn't even there to invite you. It was just a small formality-ceremony.

Girlfriend in Hyderabad, wife in Bangalore - I'm loving it!

Start the music, continue the dance

Some of you had asked me to keep writing about my time in ISB. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to do that, but whenever I can squeeze it in, I surely will, as I've done now. I know some of you are MBA aspirants, so I'll keep that in my mind while I write.

First things first, ISB is indeed a great school with almost everything you could expect from a top educational institution - a truly world class curriculum, a strong faculty and state-of-the-art facilities. You've a wi-fi campus, e-enabled course delivery structure, classrooms with tablet PCs, air-conditioned "student villages", huge lawns, the list can go on. The visiting professors in ISB otherwise teach at the top B-schools of the world. The resident faculty is doing good amount of research work, else ISB couldn't have figured in the global FT rankings.

But if you join ISB instead of Kellogg just because FT puts ISB ahead, I would ask you to reassess. You must understand that "India is held back by a financial system that is reluctant to invest in unproven ideas, an education system that emphasizes rote learning over problem solving, and a culture that looks down on failure and unconventional career choices." How much ever globalized it be, a B-school in India is cuffed by these truths. Sure, you're going to meet smart people but you need to set your expectations right, if you're evaluating ISB for yourself.

Let us get back to discussing about the school. When a two-year program is wrung to eleven months, you obviously got to be prepared for a fully packed schedule right from day one. First week is the orientation week when you get all the gyan about what all ISB can do to you and what all you can do to ISB. The O-week as it's called, is the hand off week from the previous batch. Don't be surprised if you get an 11:00 pm meeting invite on a Sunday from the Business & Technology Club.

The second week is the week of pre-terms that covers some of the basic concepts you'll require during the marathon. But from the week after that when your regular courses start, you don't have time to even realize what you've gotten into. There're only two 2-hour classes everyday, but the system ensures that you will not know when it's day and when it's night. There're no classes on Friday, Saturday and Sunday, but the system will again ensure that you really don't know when it's a weekday and when it's the weekend.

You've pre-reads for every class. Most profs will assume that you've done the pre-read and will just rush through the content during the class. If you don't follow in the class, you're going to be having a tough time. Because when you come home, you need to prepare for the next day's class. It's almost impossible to catch up during the weekend because you'll have a couple of assignments to submit before Monday 8 am, you might have a case submission, you'll have a quiz in at least one of the classes - and these are just the few possible things.

This goes on for two weeks and you suddenly see Mid-Term exams in your calendar. What? Yes, every term is only for five weeks and there're eight such terms. So there're mid-terms after two weeks and end-terms after five weeks. You'll have to master four courses during this time. There's a 5-day break between terms (including the weekend), but you've a footnote that says workshops, projects and leadership trainings will be scheduled during this time. Wow! Now the big question - how many hours of sleep do you get everyday? Well, I leave that to your imagination. But then amidst all of this, you find one thing that never misses in ISB - fun. You've parties every week, you can see people chilling out in the pool, playing in the recreation centre, going out for dinner.

Life is always about dancing, to different music, isn't it? One such music has begun a few weeks back for the 580 of us and we've all started to enjoy dancing for it.

Where are my wings?

Friends, I have been making a short film with a childhood friend of mine. It started as "Can your band do music for my film?" and then we both worked together for six months on the hundreds of rushes (technical term for video clips of a movie) that were shot in the slums of Bangalore. Most part of the story is inspired by the interactions we have had with, stories we have listened from and the shoveling we have done in the slums. The 18-min film revolves around the life of a rag-picker.

I was first swept off when I saw the effort my friend had put into acting in the film. I was swept off for the second time when I heard the first draft of the song. Meanwhile, I was just happy doing the cut-copy-pastes, so I became the editor.

Direction - Sukiyan, Music - Agam, Editing - Myself. All rights reserved.

In case you're not able to access it, try here.

And dollars to make before I wake

I let the romantic me write this post first. But at the middle of it, I felt "This is not what I really feel". So, I let the unromantic me recompose it. But at the end of this I felt "Can I be happy ever?" If I've to be true to myself, I've to store both.

This is not what I really feel

I had seen her sometime ago, but it was just part of the exploration. When I went there again after a few weeks, late in the evening, I was surprised to see that the street dogs weren't barking at me. Did they already know I belonged to this place? I brought my parents later and they liked her too. But I found the girl too rustic and knew we will surely take a long time to adapt to each other’s ways. So, the discussions about this girl were suspended in thin air.

For three years, my parents kept reminding me about this girl. Meanwhile, the memories of my love also kept haunting me. Destiny as you would call, there were hurdles everywhere. I told my parents “I am still ruminating in the thoughts of my love. But, I'll surely recover, just give me some more time”.

I used this time to not just recover, but also to adapt myself to the girl even as I saw the girl adapt herself to me. I also sought out to some enlightenment from religious books that bolstered my beliefs - “Just because you know someone in this birth, don’t take ownership of or dependency on the person. Do you know how you were related in your previous birth, or how you will be related in your next birth?” I used to disbelieve in all these, but now I’ve stopped to disbelieve in things that I don’t know anything about.

During our courtship period, I started to realize what true love is. I surely had to compromise, but every time I did that, I heard thanks off her lips. She was no less; if I tried hard, she tried harder. Slowly, both of us began to understand what each other wanted. Not just in the bedroom, our love was shimmering all over the house, even in the kitchen.

Can I be happy ever?

A few years back I had a small problem in my leg - from a small pressure while walking to a gentle hobble and then to a visible limp, it aggravated in the span of a few months. For the medical illiterate that I was, I ignored it until I wasn't able to walk even across a street continuously. I finally met a doctor and took a few tests. And then was the great evening that I can never forget. The doctor lambasted me for ignoring the problem for so long and wondered how I managed to walk all these months. He even told me this could be because of the same bacteria that causes tuberculosis. I just smiled and the doctor was surprised. Obviously, he wouldn't know I smile like a fool for everything.

Thankfully, it was just a small lump that had created a swelling inside and it just vanished after I took on to jogging for a month; that's the magic of being young. But between the evening the doctor blasted me and the evening when he actually confirmed that this was not even an infection, I had the most introspective nights of my life. Of what use have I been to this world so far that if at all I have to succumb to destiny's whip, I can rest in some peace. Well, I had not been useful to even my family so far, the world was still far ahead. The best of those introspective nights was when I recollected a chapter in elementary school on "serving the people".

A doctor was the first on that chapter. I thought well, everyone can't be a doctor, but people can at least try to be of some help to those who come to them for problems. An engineer was next on the list. All of us can't be engineers, but we can at least think scientifically when confronted by disastrous human emotions. A teacher was next. Again, not each of us can be a teacher, but we can surely make an unbiased effort to know what is right and what is not. The list went on and ended with a firefighter. But the quest started then and hasn't ended.

That was when I began to appreciate one of Gandhi's famous quotes - "The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others." But as my memories of limping faded away, my thoughts about people also faded away and I stand before you having taken care of Me, Myself and Naren. One of the greatest testimonials of that is what now stands on the plot I'd bought four years back. “Make your first one million dollars and then think about doing anything different” – as long as I remember these words from whom I consider my mentor, I will continue to showcase even bigger such testimonials in the future. Yes, until I wake, I've dollars to make!

Where art thou?

Tomorrow the parliament is going to vote on women's reservation bill. Where're the patriots who opposed caste-based reservations? Where's the media that tore apart the supporters? Where're the egalitarians who staged protests? Where're the doctors who did not attend to their patients so that they can participate in the strikes? Are they all silent because they know at least the women of their families will get benefited out of this as opposed to no one in the case of caste-based reservations? Or are they just tired having to protest for everything? But I won't agree that the media is tired. Either oppose both or support both.

Can we get more selfish? Can we get more biased? Can we get more hypocritical? If the men of the society didn't create fairgrounds for the women, then the men better be taught a lesson and the women better be given justice. If the upper caste didn't create fairgrounds for the lower caste, then let the same justice prevail there too. It's so hard to practice what we believe, but at least let us make an attempt to talk what we believe. I'm extremely sorry if I'm out of touch with news, but I don't think there's wide-spread protest against women's reservation. I'm equally sorry if I've failed to note the difference between the two reservations.

But I'm happy that people have started to realize what reservation means and have begun to accept to pay for their mistakes.

Please take care

"How about morning at 8:30?"

"I have to drop my kid at school."
"Ok, how about 8:30 in the night?"
"I would just be putting my kid to sleep."
"But later than that will be difficult for you, right?"
"At 10:00? I would just have finished dinner and cleaned vessels."
"But why do you've to attend. I'll take care. You just take rest."
"No, I want to dial in."

If someone replies like that when you ask what will be the best time for a call with the US folks, you really don't know what to do. I just felt like writing a post dedicated to all mothers, but I don't think I can do any justice. All of you mothers, please accept my humble token of both appreciation and gratitude.

The egg that created the chicken

I used to wonder how this world became such an interlocked place of extreme dependency. Today, I thought about it again, when I looked at this picture.

If we just have to live alone in a jungle, we would almost not need to depend on anyone. But in an attempt to protect ourselves, we might try to cling. In the process, we might enjoy the feeling of being together. However, when we start thinking about what remains after we're gone, we probably would think of leaving something after us. That is when we would try to bring in more things and people around, including our own children. From here on it doesn't take long to transform our thoughts into creating what we call a society.

But we never realize the intensity of what we just created until we get overwhelmed by it. We slowly start to depend on the various elements that constitute a society. One fine day when we realize "Ah, did we just create a chicken-and-egg problem?", we start questioning ourselves. We try our first line of defense. Without realizing that it was we who created the system, we start listing down its absurdities.

First, we require people to give us things that we wouldn't have otherwise needed in a simpler system. Absurd! Second, we cannot always give back to people whom we take it from. More absurd! Third, from a cooperative mode that we thought our society would behave, we get into an ambitious mode where cooperation is a nice-to-have. Even more absurd! You can continue to grow this list of absurdities and it can get quite complicated.

Surely, the society is a good and a bad creation of mankind that comprises of many dimensions that are built upon some of the weirdest chicken-and-egg problems, of which dependency is just one dimension. As you keep thinking along these lines, you traverse through thoughts about selfishness and about usefulness. And then you go back many years and try to dig out the purpose of your birth. Now you get stumped.

You don't know how to begin because the start is the universe. You attempt to reverse-engineer and try to find out how it could end. Even that doesn't help because the end is also the universe. Does the sum of all our lives add up to zero or to eternity? Now you're confused whether the system is absurd or you're absurd. That's when you most probably try to give up, because your eyes are already closing, asking for sleep. You need to address more dependency concerns of either yours or of others, the next day.

Are we faithful?

What has changed in this one month for the tiger? Well, the world knows something that it didn't know last month. And what is it? That the tiger was unfaithful. Isn't that his personal matter and not something that you and I should be commenting at? I don't think our respect for the tiger should enfeeble unless we come to know that he cheated to become the tiger. Thinking laterally, what has he done that none of us has?

If having a crush on someone during high school and loving someone else later is infidelity, I'm sorry, blame 80% of the men. If having loved someone and marrying someone else is infidelity, blame 60% of the women. If having married someone and remarrying someone else when the partner leaves is infidelity, blame social reformists like Raja Ram Mohan Roy. But if you're blaming someone because he did not follow the rule that biased people created for their own benefits, I'm sorry, I beg to differ - all of us have just escaped because there's no rule against similar acts that we otherwise keep doing.

If as a child, you think your love for your parents doesn't reduce after you get married; if as a spouse, you feel your love for your partner doesn't reduce after you become a parent; if as a worshipper, you think God's love doesn't reduce because he gives you failures; as a rational interpreter, I should only think that someone's love doesn't reduce because he loves someone else too. I agree, that might not be the case every time, but if there's anything, it's up to the concerned people to clarify it between themselves and not for anyone outside to evaluate. We should just stop ridiculing and ask ourselves - Are we faithful? If our answer is yes, I think we're mostly lying.

Disclaimer: I am not against the concept of marriage. I don't believe you should love someone more than you love your spouse. I am not saying people should follow whatever their mind says. But according to me, infidelity is to tell someone "I love you" when you actually don't. And nothing else. I am surely not a supporter of adultery, but to me this is like how Sanyasa disapproves Grihasta; it does not mean Grihasta is sinful. Scholars please excuse me for my ignorance. You're welcome to disagree, after all that is what this post is all about - tolerance to different faiths.

Ena Meena Rana

Ena: Have you lifted your self-ban on going for a movie yet? I'm getting bored. I know you prefer to sit and chat for 3 hours than watch a movie, but just checking.
Rana: Yes, you're right. 12 hours every day go in taking care of my own chores, including sleeping. 9 hours go in office working for someone else. Weekends go in catching up. So, I've only 3 hours a day for anything else I would like to do, and fun is the last thing that comes to my mind now.
Ena: Ya, you've even told me there's no time to spend on unstable emotions that don't have any meaning the next day.
Rana: Considering all those 3 hours that I've spilled so far in my life, I think I can't afford to spill them right now.
Ena: I'm sure I was responsible for most of those wasted hours.
Rana: I don't think so, and those're not wasted hours either. You can surely find a use out of anything you do. And breaking monotony is healthy too. Just that I don't need a break right now.
Ena: I think I too don't need one now. Fine, we'll go for a movie some other day then.
Rana: Sure, who else can understand me more than you do? I know life's too short not to enjoy every moment. I'll surely lift all my self-bans some day. Hope you don't take it personally till then.
Ena: Oh no. I know you won't support your people just because they're your people. But I also know that you'll stand by them whatever happens. How can I forget what you told me about reservations.
Rana: Yes, I support reservations because I know that my people oppressed a few others and it's time for the oppressed to win the lawsuit against my people, just as how, for example, AMD won against Intel. "You win, I'm happy. But if you snub me, I'll sue you".
Ena: Yes, I too thought about it. But don't you think someone was oppressed then, and someone else is enjoying now. Where is the justice here?
Rana: When the murderer gets punished, is the victim enjoying the justice?
Ena: We want to warn the rest of the people against such crimes.
Rana: Why do you think it's different in the case of reservations?
Ena: Here the culprit is not punished, but his progeny is.
Rana: The son has to pay his father's debt. He can't just enjoy and then escape.
Ena: But don't you think reservations are being abused? Many of those benefited don't really deserve, and many of those penalized are the ones who actually need.
Rana: That's the unfortunate part. I wish reservations were adaptive enough.
Ena: I would just say my ancestors were intelligent enough to exploit a few others, you can't blame them for using their brains.
Rana: Exactly! Now the exploited are using their brains. Unfortunately, an eye for an eye! Well, the honest answer to your question is "Yes, I hate reservations. But I'm rationally forced to support it after weighing without bias, all I could".
Ena: Let me wait till you're married. You'll then know why all this logic wouldn't matter any longer.
Rana: Yes, that surely scares me. I definitely don't know how I should handle the dilemma of what to care for - my family's mosquito bite or someone else's snake bite.
Ena: If you don't care for your family, who else will? And what can you really do about someone else's snake bite even if you're not in a family?
Rana: I agree with you. I certainly want to care for people for whom I'm the first. But I also want to care for people for whom I'm not the first. I'm not sure what exactly that means, but it pains me to know that there're many who're not the first to anyone.
Ena: Well, if you're more bothered about others, why don't you give all your money to others?
Rana: No, I'm a capitalist, but a social capitalist. I don't want to beg for food, so I'll earn. I won't get a house for free, so I'll own one. I want to lead a dignified life, so I'll buy clothes. I want to live comfortably, so I'll even spend on luxury. No compromises there. All I want to tell myself is I should be useful to this world. I know with all this nonsense I'll end up hurting or at least disappointing people who matter to me, but I can only hope they don't mind.
Ena: Don't worry, even if they mind, they will one day understand what you're saying and realize what you're doing. Not all those with a heart can love, not all those who love can keep expectations low, not all those who keep expectations low can think for others, and not all those who think for others can sacrifice love for the sake of love itself.
Rana: You got it! I want to reach a stage where I'm 100% happy. I think if you're 100% good and can love 100%, you're 100% peaceful. If you keep wondering what good is, you cannot love. And if you can't love, you can't be peaceful. Happiness is always about that inner peace. Unfortunately, I'm right at the bottom still figuring out what 100% good is. Imagine a life with no disappointment, no insecurity, no anger, no selfishness, no bias, no dishonesty, no immaturity.
Ena: Why do you've to live then? That's like being a stone.
Rana: I don't mind being a stone, but I want to be a good stone that treats everyone equally and is peaceful and happy.
Ena: So you agreed you're a stone. Don't you think I've this uncanny knack of making you feel guilty every time? But I know I need to start thinking beyond myself.
Rana: I too need to, and that's needed especially in a relation. You need to ensure that the other person is living a better life with you, than without you. Not the other way around. Allow him to do what he wants to and help him achieve what he wants to. If you can't be a ramp, at least don't be a hurdle. If you can't be a symbiont, at least don't be a parasite. The easier thing to do when you know something is to preach. It's much more difficult to practice. I'm right now doing the easier thing.
Ena: Why am I here for? I'll help you practice what you want to. You've done so much for me.
Rana: Yes, but you be yourself. This world survives not because of people like me, but because of people like you. I can build a house, but only you can make a home out of it, the home that unconditionally loves me and gives me the freedom to do whatever I want to.

And today's fight ended between Emotional Naren who wants to make everyone around him happy, and Rational Naren who thinks he was born for a bigger purpose. But I'm sure something else will come up tomorrow, for them to fight again.

Social what?

This blog for me, has become more than what I thought it would be. I store here some of - what I believe so that I am impelled to follow, what I learn so that I don't forget, what I feel right so that I could be proved wrong, and what I don't understand so that I can come back to them. Most of all, I store here the treasure of all your comments, the comments from people who don't cringe to say the truth. How I wish all your mails, calls and chats also get captured here!

I am usually a very slow beginner. I take my own sweet time to come to terms with anything. For example, I might appear as if I am outright dismissive in an argument, but it's actually me fighting with myself. My most peaceful sleeps are when I am proved wrong, for whenever I am proved right, I become skeptical. So you can surely read this and tell me why I'm wrong. You know I am planning for an MBA. I can put it to any short-term use, but I want to use it in the long term to change a social pattern, however small it is. I don't mind even if it's only after my retirement, but by writing down, I want to remind myself constantly.

Charity needs a noble soul, so I am really not talking about social service here. I want to venture into it and assume the risk for it, so you could call it social entrepreneurship. I want to surely make money too, so may be I've to call it social capitalism. But I want to help someone lead a self-sustained life than do something charitable. I'm not saying the former is better, just that I feel the former suits more the person that I'm. Even in a relation I like if it empowers someone to stand alone than be dependent. So may be we should call this social empowerment.

I am not undermining the difficulty of taking care of oneself and family, my earnest appreciation to all those who do that job remarkably well. I don't know how well I can do that, but I want to be useful to at least one person outside my family, not by any complex root-cause cycle but directly, not through charity but through a way of self-sustenance, not out of good will but out of responsibility. I bow to people who can put others before self; I don't know if I can even reach a stage where I can put others equal to myself. But if you're someone who's already doing that and wanting to make a difference, come let us have a chat and work out a business plan.

Social what? This is social hunt!

Be reckless?

Many quotes are embedded, didn't apostrophize for the sake of congruity.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours - I read this some time back. Though I was able to appreciate it emotionally, I wasn't able to agree to it rationally. Blame it on your own growth, sometimes you really can't avoid being reckless with others. When you extrapolate it, people being reckless with you becomes an unavoidable behaviour too.

All of us are engrossed in our own quests to become the person we desire to be. Probably if we don't know where we're going, any road can get us there. But when we want to go somewhere and not just anywhere, we have to keep opening and closing doors, sometimes our own, sometimes of others. The harder we try, the blinder we get. In the complex and dynamic maze we're in, sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing that we see too late the one that is open. While we keep staring, we fall prey to parasitic emotions and narcissistic compulsions that end up retarding our own growth. And the lesser the growth, the more the recklessness.

I thought I got the answer to my disagreement when I read - It is a hard quest worth making to find a comrade through whose presence one becomes steadily the person one desires to be. I tried customizing the quote in the first line - Don't help someone become the person he desires not to be, don't put up with someone who helps you become the person you don't desire to be. This came close, however was still not entirely agreeable. I decided to stop the self-torture and went to sleep.

Is your eraser wearing ahead?

"To err is human, but if the eraser wears out ahead of the pencil, you're overdoing it." True, but most of the times, we commit a mistake without realizing we're committing one. That's when even if we don't forgive ourselves, others might probably do; or is it the other way around? But when we commit a mistake while we very well know it's a mistake, I think feeling sorry then doesn't mean anything, unless there is a really worthwhile reason. I, for sure, know some instances where my eraser was ahead of my pencil and I don't think I can prevent that in the future either. Yes, life is lived forward but understood backward! I guess we should just move on taking Einstein's consolation that "Anyone who has not made a mistake has never tried anything new".

Glass houses

As I was beginning to learn the Kannada alphabet, I found it both difficult and confusing, as is mostly the case with any new thing you try. Letters like ಒ (o) and ಜ (ja) that have no connection between them looked similar, as if they were vowel variants of the same consonant. Similar to this were ಘ (gha) and ಫ (pha), just to name one more pair. When I looked at the Tamil alphabet to see how it was doing, I realized that it has many such pairs too - ஏ (ae) and ர (ra), ள (la) and ன (na), etc. Hindi was no exception, for example इ (i) and ड (da), घ (gha) and ध (dha); I'm sure English has such pairs too.

A Tamil friend who went for a six-month German class before his six-week Germany trip made fun of me for roaming around with a Kannada book. I asked him why hasn't he learnt Kannada these six years in Karnataka, of course with a jovial tone. I would've been happy had he told me he was lazy or didn't find time or found it difficult or felt it was not needed; I know we don't have infinite time and energy. But his answer was "Come on, I can't learn this jalebi, all letters look the same". I told him "Believe me, Tamil is no better and its letter இ (i) is the most complex letter I've ever known and most closely resembles a jalebi." I felt like receiving a slap myself, for I was no different some time ago. Now I learn and forget, refresh and remember - but I'm ashamed that I can't speak Kannada fluently even after these many years in Bangalore.

Through this post I want to tell myself that when we live in a glass house, it's sometimes ok to throw stones at others if we have good intentions; that is like our parents advising us to become doctors and engineers, even though they're not one themselves. Sometimes we even tend to slip though we take extreme care to preach what we believe and follow what we preach, which is also perfectly fine; we're all just humans. But I think many times we ridiculously fall prey to our own contempt and either trivialize things we don't believe in or get biased by people we are more bothered about. I think with thousands of years of humankind, it's time for us to not just accommodate, but also appreciate each other. Wait a second, are we even accommodating yet?

All the world's a school

I can't list down all my learnings in life, but if you give me just a few seconds to think, I would say - my best learning in school was when the same teacher who taught me "Truth triumphs", also taught "Sometimes untruth is the best truth"; the best learning from my father was when he who helped me know what I like and what I don't, also said "If someone asks for the red, you should take the blue, even if you like the red"; the best learning from my mother was when she who taught me to live by myself, also told "The best use of life is to be useful to others".

And this post will be too short to tell the best learning I have had from each of you. From small things like "You use too many exclamation marks in your sentences" and "You should brush your teeth before going to bed", to deep thoughts like "Everybody thinks he has to adjust for all others every time" and "What seems right to you is not necessarily right to everyone"; the list is endless. I still can vaguely remember the scene when I cried as I was left into what I thought was my first classroom, I didn't know I was already admitted into this school of all of us three years before that. How many teachers, how many peers, how many seniors, how many juniors - and strangely enough all of us keep switching roles!

You have helped me learn so much in this school - pseudo-races for me to know what it takes to come first and what it means to come last, pseudo-tasks for me to know what it takes to lead and what it means to follow, pseudo-happiness to know why I should make others happy, pseudo-pains to realize what everyone goes through otherwise, pseudo-successes to understand what progress is, pseudo-failures to know what the process is. Some of those threw me out of my equilibrium and some helped me gain it back; some made me feel good about this world while some pretended to do the opposite, everything just for me to learn.

I am learning everyday and phase-by-phase. With every phase I'm looking myself from the opposite side, and then I turn back and face the same side. If I don't contradict myself, am I probably not growing? If I find myself great, have I probably not examined myself carefully? If I don't learn, am I probably not living? Regardless of whether or not I do all this, you still try to teach me in the best possible way every time, even if it means the harshest way; I've enjoyed so far and am eagerly looking forward to more enjoyment. This post is my gratitude to all of you for having me in (y)our school.

Learning is not compulsory, neither is survival - Edwards Deming.

Are you the right you?

Nobel peace prize for Obama - while I gasp a wow, I don't think anyone would have expected this. I'm sure there're going to be multiple debates on this, so I'll choose NOT to discuss about the worthiness of the award. But my first reaction - it does not matter who believes in you or who doesn't, as long as you believe in yourself, you have a leader in you.

I was fortunate to be in the US during its last election and I was able to see a country cry for change. Their elections are a little different from ours; apart from the processes, the striking difference I found was people do not fear to tell in public whom they voted for; such is the transparency in their operations, such is the advancement in their society and such is the protection in their legal system.

Whenever I got the opportunity I used to ask my American colleagues, "Do you believe in Bush?" and without exception they replied "Not any more". The rising terrorism, the wars, the economy, global warming - people definitely needed a change. And Obama was their ray of hope, his dreams were surely bigger than any other person they knew to be living. Even as the orthodox, the rascist and the regressive did not approve of his nomination, the wave gently shifted towards Obama as he won over Clinton for his candidature, over McCain for his presidentship and over critics for his leadership.

When people make fun of you for your middle name, when people abuse you for your colour and when people criticize you for your inexperience, it needs a strong character to stand up and tell "Look I believe in myself, will you believe in me?" Well, even Gandhi was hated by half the country, and there're people who don't believe in God. Why get bogged down by people who ridicule your capability, why go into a shell when you face failures, why get affected by criticisms, why settle cozily in your comfort zone? Just believe in yourself!

Yes, you've to be at the right place at the right time, but before that, you've to be the right you. Are you the right you?

How often do you witness such courage

I saw a TV programme where Kamal Haasan was answering a question in a live debate - "I've lot of respect for the institution of family because it symbolizes unconditional love. But marriage is a legal handcuff that caters love based on conditions. Why do we expect a few things from our spouse that we don't expect from our parents or siblings?" In short he was trying to ask an obvious question - why do you expect your spouse to be so-called-faithful TO YOU when you don't expect it from the other entities of the institution of unconditional love called the family.

A tight slap on each of our perceptions, ego, self-centredness and what not! You'll notice that the slap was even tighter if you realize that these rules were mostly set by the men of the society and the women got a pretty raw deal, just as how the upper caste set the rules against the lower caste of the erstwhile Indian society. If you're someone who thinks marriage is a nobler bond than any of the other bonds in the society, you might find it difficult to appreciate this. But if you're someone who thinks possessiveness is just a decent term given to selfishness in a relation, you will surely appreciate this. I'm right now scared to type more, I'm not as brave as Kamal. So I'll choose not to continue until I see how I handle this selfishness myself.

Thanks and No, Thanks Media

"Julia Roberts is spotted in a village in Haryana" was the hot news in a national TV news channel today. I was able to quickly recollect a couple of other FlashNews of the past - "Sanjay Dutt goes to VaishnoDevi, his girlfriend accompanies him" and "Aishwarya Rai falls ill"; and then hot debates on "Is the T20 victory bigger than the 1983 world cup victory" and "Is Sharukh a bigger star than Amitabh". The funniest part of these debates is the SMS question. I'm sure this will be the SMS question on some channel tomorrow - "Do you think India can make it to the semis in the Champions Trophy?"

I attended a talk by the CEO of redbus.in who was grateful to the media which made the company popular in matter of just a few weeks. He felt that the biggest reason for that is the huge number of news channels who need "some" news. Yes, that way the news channels are helping even in their "irrationale". But the rest of the times, they waste so much of the viewer's time that I personally feel could be dealt better.

I'm sorry, I made the media unethical last week and I'm making it irrational this week, but I've a huge respect for the media. I owe a big chunk of what I know today to the media and the country owes a special thanks to the media for its efforts to bring injustice and malpractice to the floor apart from doing its routine job of spreading the news wonderfully well. The very reason for me to still continue watching these channels is the quality of information discoursed.

But I feel a little more thought away from capitalistic ideologies can shape the country and its people in a big positive way. May be the media is already doing it, perhaps people look to media mostly for entertainment or I might just be watching at the wrong time. But if Jack Welsh says "shareholder value is the dumbest idea in this world", I think it's time for us to think more about stakeholders than just about shareholders.

Small things, Big efforts

If you let me to do so, I would call this the cross-section of a single-floored house. You can say 20% of your house is complete with the foundation, 50% with the roof, 80% with the plastering work and 100% with the woodwork. Extrapolate if you have more than one floor. My house's right now at the ground floor's lintel stage, so I had to freeze the floor's door, window, sunshade and loft positions.

Here is one simple example that testified how small things can require a lot of effort. Initial plan was to not have any loft opening out into the modular kitchen. But parents showed dissent, for they're used to seeing lofts on at least two sides of any room they've used. Multiple phone calls with the architect and friends, visits to modular kitchen showrooms, consulting with interior designers - finally we decided to keep the loft on one side of the kitchen that is not visible from other rooms in the house. Now everyone's happy!

Every week there's a new topic and every day there's a new concern. To build the house according to the wishes of the contractor is a little easy, to build it according to the imaginations of the architect is a little difficult, to build it to your requirements is even more difficult, but to build it to the satisfaction of everyone is really difficult.

I'm surely starting to learn the art of "striking the balance", I hope this helps me in things beyond the house too. This learning experience is definitely more wonderful than the humbling experience of getting bankrupt. But the most wonderful of all is the realization that there're million others doing the same thing and I'm not doing anything unique. Well, this's true about most things in life, isn't it?

Was Buddha selfish?

"Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live" - an interesting Orkut fortune and I thought I'll make it a little boring.

On one hand if you think Buddha preached renunciation, on the other hand you can argue that Buddha himself wanted people to not have wants. Charles Darwin could tell that adaptation is the cause of the origin of new species, but Bernard Shaw would say that all progress depends on the unreasonable man who adapts the world to him and not on the reasonable man who adapts himself to the world.

Here is my take. I can surely say that the worst of my growths have happened when I egotistically convinced myself that I was right and that the best of my growths have happened when I listened to people who told me I was wrong. An unemotional example would be the way I walk. In school, I used to have a funny stoop in my gait until people pointed it out to me; It took me two years to correct it. I no longer walk the same way, so am I no longer the same person? I would say "No, I'm still the same person who walks better."

Was Buddha selfish? I don't think so!

Put on your own mask before you assist others

I happily used to neglect my health till sometime back. I would know that I roamed too much in the sun only when I got fever the next day. I would notice that I worked for too long in the night only when my back started paining. I would agree that I walked too far in the cold only when I started coughing. As I was beginning to know that I was ignoring myself, a friend yelled at me - "Do you think you're God?"

Till that moment I was fairly convinced that taking care of oneself was a selfish act. I had just restarted my gym then and I realized that my year-old back pain was slowly subsiding, both because I was working out and because I was not online late nights. Yes, it took me this long to understand that you need to set your foot strong before you lend your hand.

I'm losing track of what's right and what's not

With exploding number of media channels, news ought to be blown out of proportions. But I sometimes feel moral limits are being crossed. I can cite a dozen examples, but what pains me the most is the denigration this explosion has brought to affected middle class homes. One small mistake by a petty officer in an entrusted job or a slip in the otherwise cautious life of a family person, the media just tears apart. But what happens to the families that can't bear this shame?

Bribery is the easiest example I can think of. Yes, I did write about why I feel corruption is a shame to our country, but then I should admit that I also have a soft corner for the middle class officers who are after bribe. I was happy to know that some of you also share similar views. One of you very rightly even pointed out that their pathetic salary levels is probably the biggest reason, how true!

Let us get back to the morally irresponsible media. Even today, the news channels are ripping apart the Chief Justice of Karnataka for his "alleged" involvement in corruption. Every half hour there're different pictures of him from all possible angles. Yes, I agree it is a shameful offence, but then how would the people at his home face the world tomorrow? I am not trying to justify, but let us list down possible levels of corruption:

• pocketing money for going beyond the routine
• pocketing money for doing the routine
• pocketing money at the cost of the routine
  

Now let us draw some funny equivalents at our own workplace:

• taking a one-hour coffee break after completing work
  
• taking a one-hour coffee break during work
• taking a one-hour coffee break at the cost of work

We don't get a break, so we take it whenever we can. Some don't get money, so they earn it however they can. Well, I just realized I do all the latter three, so I will just shut up right now and hope that the media doesn't become responsible for increasing the suicide rate in the country.

The captain was acquitted

I don't know whether this is real, but I was told so. I found it interesting as I recalled this while I was thinking about the earlier post on "relative perfectionism".

The captain of a ship was investigated in the naval court for a wreck that he was charged for. Apparently he was able to save the wreck from becoming a major disaster, however he was not able to avert the wreck itself. The court appointed a three-member committee to give a report on the case. The committee came back after six months and listed three salvage options that the captain could have tried to prevent the wreck.

The judge asked the captain "Do you have anything to reply?" The captain said "I know my mistake and I am not going to plead innocence. I appreciate the committee for producing a flawless report, I agree that all the three alternatives would have saved the ship. But I have one thing to say. The committee had six months to come up with three solutions. I had just six seconds."

The captain was acquitted.

Let us grow together

A friend asked me "I wonder how your love letter would be!" I laughed and said "Well, that depends on how I decide to propose, but I would like to tell her a few things after I propose, for both of us to practice:

• We were independent individuals taking care of ourselves before we knew each other. Let us not expense our time and energy with workaday updates, unless required. Instead we can focus on other great stuff that we've been destined to take care of.
  
• If we choose to give more attention to someone else at some instant, let us not doubt if our love has reduced. Let our love be selfless.
• Let us keep emotions away and practice detachment while making rational decisions.
  
• When there's a conflict of opinions, let us respect our individual freedom of thoughts.
• Overindulgence does not do good to either of us in the long run and so does worrying over things we can't control or influence.
• Let us not blindly support or oppose each other with extreme prejudice. We will help each other understand both our strengths and weaknesses and try to complement them.
• Last but not the least, let us be honest in both admitting our mistakes and accepting our incapabilities. No one is perfect, it's the other's responsibility to adapt and forgive.
  

But even while we practice (or don't practice) all of these, let us not think we're the best (or the worst) couple in this world. That is an extremely biased statement filled with contempt for others (and ridicule for ourselves). For all we know, we might actually not be (or be) the ideal match. Let us just learn and grow together."

Seeing my friend yawning, I stopped here :)

Where's the chopper anyway?

Chandraayan sends images of Apollo 15 landing, finally a non-American article vouching for the moon-conquest of the US astronauts. I can't talk about the veracity of this article, but I was happy to see it. I once wrote about why people at the top should only be aggressive and not be arrogant. But there's something that I feel about people not at the top too.

I think all of us are taught to push ourselves up and not to pull others down if we've to succeed. But our non-adherence to that learning starts from school - "Ma'am, how can you award more marks to him when he has written the same answer as I've?" As we grow up, we can't see one team always win tournaments, one company always succeed, one country always be at the top; the list goes on.

We say the Western world practices racism, but are we not racists too? We have been practicing a deep-rooted racism called casteism, then an absolutely reasonless racism called regionalism, and then the popular insider-outsider racism. If a Tamil holds racist feelings against a Malayalee, I am 100% sure that an Indian will hold a racist feeling against an American. I don't want to list examples here, but let us be honest to ourselves and accept the fact that we're racists who try to pull down people at the top, ridicule people at the bottom, and both pull down and ridicule those who we think don't belong to our race.

It's really wonderful that we've traced the Apollo landing done many decades back, but let us now trace our own chopper!

Emotions engineered

When two engineers talk about emotions, it can't get worse than the above! Finally when they conclude that anything on the left hand side can pair up with anything on the right hand side, you actually start checking if it really makes sense.

I picked what I thought was an improbable pair - dislike and love. How can you dislike something that you love? I was surprised to find an example. As I was learning to ride my bike, I liked it. Slowly I started loving it. But over these years, the dust, the sun, etc. have made me develop a dislike towards it. But I still absolutely love it. I scratched my head in disbelief only to find that this's true with people too.

But can you really hate something that you'd loved because now your contempt surpasses your adoration? Isn't love such a wonderful feeling that unless you decide to renounce, you will continue to love? I don't know, may be the love that comes from like cannot transform itself into hatred? Even if it does, I feel that's a little lesser-mortalish!

Ok, now the next pair - can you hate something and still like it?

People know what's right and what's not

Viewing an imperfection as a responsibility to fix something has been a trait that I am not sure how I developed. Blame it on Gandhi for "It must be the friend and not the mistake that we support" or Oscar Wilde for "A true friend stabs in the front", I started to believe that friendship or for that matter any relationship should encourage the right thing and discourage the wrong thing.

But then you run into problems doing that. You become the bad guy when you point fingers at people who don't have any compulsion to listen to you, because they don't understand your intentions. You become worse when you misconceive a perfection as an imperfection, because you then are self-righteous. You become even worse when you repeat yourself because you then are not able to accept people as they're. Most people get defensive at this point because they think this is intrusion. Even people who go back and evaluate themselves later appear defensive at that moment, this includes me.

Sometimes the most perfect way might not be the happiest way. Watching cricket had given me so much pleasance some time ago. Now I've stopped watching but I've surely not found a substitute so far that can glue me to eight hours of delight. Sometimes our own maturity level inhibits us from doing the perfect thing. I think it was in class 5, I still remember the exact scene when I stood up for not doing the homework and lied that I had a bad head ache. I was thrilled at that moment but I repent for it even today. Sometimes there's a genuine reason for us to not do the perfect thing. During the final months of my class 12, I'd vowed to myself not to play the guitar till the exams. When I refused to play during the school farewell, I surely made some of my friends angry and I still feel bad about it.

But as I recollect such incidents, I feel people should be allowed to do what makes them happy, because perfection in real life is both a relative and a subjective term, and not an absolute term as a dictionary would suggest. With this assurance of self-happiness, I want to be able to grow myself to say yes when I like and no when I don't, to stand for things I believe in and against those that I don't, or to sum up to be myself. I have a long way to go, but I am convinced that people know what's right and what's not for them.

Oohlalala

Remember we had won the Oohlalala competition on Sun TV two years back? The Oohlalala album with one song each from the six bands that had won was released by AR Rahman on Aug 7, 2009.

In the photo -
Top: TPK, Me, Swami, Vicky, Harish, Shiva, GNR (the band Agam)
Bottom: Andrea, Saregama MD, Rahman, Gautam Menon, Shruti Hassan



Our performance in the first round (2:50 to 5:50):

First step towards reservationless India?

I'm not sure how historic the Right to Education Bill is going to be, but it is definitely a step towards an India that might not need reservations in higher education at least in some distant future, closer than it seemed before this bill.

I was just reading through the news article - Free and compulsory education till the age of 14, fully equipped schools, properly qualified teachers - I'm not sure how much of these are going to come into practice, how wonderful will it be if they do! But I was really surprised to see this - 25% reservation in private schools for disadvantaged children from socially and educationally backward sections. How much I wished to see this for many years now!

I'm sure no one can argue that admission into primary schools is based on merit; it is actually everything except merit that goes into a primary school admission and it will be ridiculous anyways to be talking about academic merit for such tender age. So I assume people cannot stigmatize this reservation as talent pool dilution. However, I would have been even happier if I saw the bill also say something along the lines of either "refusing higher education quota for students who got reservation in primary school" or "reducing reservation percentages in higher education decade-over-decade". The minister says that this proposal has become a bill after 16 years, so may be it might take another 16 years for something like the above in italics to become a bill? Nevertheless, this is a non-trivial attempt towards building an India that all of us are dreaming of. I hope this exponentially improves education standards among the unfortunate children of our society. It's time we lived up to our childhood pledge of "All Indians are my brothers and sisters".

If you started to follow my blog only recently, please note that I am not against reservations, at the same time, I am not for reservations in it's current format. However I try not to blindly oppose anything and everything that does not benefit me nor blindly support anything and everything that benefits me.