Viewing an imperfection as a responsibility to fix something has been a trait that I am not sure how I developed. Blame it on Gandhi for "It must be the friend and not the mistake that we support" or Oscar Wilde for "A true friend stabs in the front", I started to believe that friendship or for that matter any relationship should encourage the right thing and discourage the wrong thing.But then you run into problems doing that. You become the bad guy when you point fingers at people who don't have any compulsion to listen to you, because they don't understand your intentions. You become worse when you misconceive a perfection as an imperfection, because you then are self-righteous. You become even worse when you repeat yourself because you then are not able to accept people as they're. Most people get defensive at this point because they think this is intrusion. Even people who go back and evaluate themselves later appear defensive at that moment, this includes me.
Sometimes the most perfect way might not be the happiest way. Watching cricket had given me so much pleasance some time ago. Now I've stopped watching but I've surely not found a substitute so far that can glue me to eight hours of delight. Sometimes our own maturity level inhibits us from doing the perfect thing. I think it was in class 5, I still remember the exact scene when I stood up for not doing the homework and lied that I had a bad head ache. I was thrilled at that moment but I repent for it even today. Sometimes there's a genuine reason for us to not do the perfect thing. During the final months of my class 12, I'd vowed to myself not to play the guitar till the exams. When I refused to play during the school farewell, I surely made some of my friends angry and I still feel bad about it.
But as I recollect such incidents, I feel people should be allowed to do what makes them happy, because perfection in real life is both a relative and a subjective term, and not an absolute term as a dictionary would suggest. With this assurance of self-happiness, I want to be able to grow myself to say yes when I like and no when I don't, to stand for things I believe in and against those that I don't, or to sum up to be myself. I have a long way to go, but I am convinced that people know what's right and what's not for them.
I agree, perfection to me could be imperfection to you and vice versa.
ReplyDeleteHmm, staying detached, doing what you feel is right are surely some ways to be happy. I still need to learn a few more things about "how to be happy". Till that time I need to be in equilibrium to think clearly. So may be I should stay away from things/people that ruin my peace of mind? Not sure. But I hope I don't take a life time to learn it :)
ReplyDeletedont bother too much man .. chumma live maadi :-)
ReplyDeleteyeah.. dont bother too much
ReplyDeleteMy take:
ReplyDeleteAnything relative/subjective is worthless. Its not your responsibility to think/fix/have opinion about others. You neednt also waste time thinking what others think/perceive about you. You stand by your truth and you function based on free exchange of thoughts and voluntary contracts. Outside of this, its no point wasting precious time and energy. I believe we cant help people learn. There is nothing called as "true friend". Every one is individual, blessed with a brain of his own so as to have a vision of his own. The moment you let others advice/judge/pronounce actions on you, you are a parasite. Live your life on Absolute principles. its your responsibility to hunt for them. Once you have found it, just execute them and you will surely be in peace with yourself.
Ya, with attachment comes a chain of problems and you very interestingly mentioned some of those including the quest for perfection.
ReplyDeleteI liked the question you asked the other day - "if a kid cries mistaking a rope to be a snake, what'll you do?" I answered "I'll try to explain it to the kid. If it doesn't work, I'll pretend beating the rope and then explain to him later". You said "If you extrapolate this to the grown-up world, wasting your time beating a rope is out of attachment. You should just let people learn by themselves".
That's true, not working towards perfection will only delay your own path towards the absolute truth!
>> That's true, not working towards perfection will only delay your own path towards the absolute truth!
ReplyDeleteWhat is absolute truth :) ?
The truth that we absolutely don't know anything about ;)
ReplyDeleteAbsolute truth: Its the truth about yourself that sets you free from the entangles of these worldly spurious things...As I told the other day, we have 3 sides. What we are, what we think we are and what others think we are. Most people are striving lives out wanting to be what others want. When even the others are striving for the same, we encounter these whole set of people in a eternal deadlock trying to please each other when no one has original thoughts. Some people take a break to think and come out of this marathon around loops. Once you are out of this marathon, you seek your journey towards a destination "perfection". Thats Absolute truth for me. In this world there is no scope for relativity.
ReplyDeleteGopa, I told you, we absolutely don't know anything about it :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Archana ... at least you know something!