Monday, September 29, 2008

I hate rules as much as I hate to break them

This title, from a mail I sent to a dear friend yesterday, I think is going to essentially decide what I am going to be doing in my life. The last one year in the US, I have had numerous discussions with the small gang that I came along with from Bangalore - starting from petty things like speed limit to going far beyond talking about moral values, money, lives, wives, parents, friends, love, hatred, socialism, communism, democracy, dictatorship and what not. However, breaking rules had been the most frequent topic.

Different people have had different opinions, we have never come to a conclusion, for the discussions were not for concluding anything. But I just have one opinion - "follow the rule as long as it is required to maintain harmony, the moment you realize breaking it is going to create better harmony, go ahead and break it if it does not do a perceived harm to anyone." After all, good to someone can be bad to someone else as much as bad to someone can be good to someone else.

One thing is for sure - how much I am going to follow or break rules is going to decide so many things in my life. How much of a maverick am I going to be and how much of a conformist am I going to be ... how much am I going to stand out from the crowd and how much am I going to stand with it ... how much am I going to be unconventional and how much am I going to be conventional ... whom do I marry, where do I see my career a few years later, what am I going to be doing at 40, well, so many such questions will be answered as I keep deciding all through my life - how much do I follow and how much do I break! As I decide and keep moving, if I realize a little later that I made a wrong decision, I am not going to be repent because I know I would have used the best of my resources to make the decision at that point in time. I just hope all those who are concerned or affected by my decision also feel the same way.

Heart and hope - well, those two have had little meaning to me so far, but then I'm feeling their increasing importance as I sail through the ocean called life and as I keep realizing more and more that there is no right or no wrong thing. God, please help me reach my destination.