The baggage of mediocrity

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

I am not exactly sure under what circumstances Marilyn Monroe said this, but these charming words have kind of become the magic wand of the modern generation, a wand that they have chosen to use without restraint to wave against anything that questions their mediocrity. While Monroe had the magnanimity to confess about her imperfections before expecting some magnanimity in return, the modern Monroes often like to think that magnanimity is one way, and that is towards them.

Even before we can discuss whether mediocrity and imperfection are avoidable, we must understand the difference between the two. If you are a mother taking care of your family in every possible way but not able to avoid throwing tantrums at home in spite of trying your best, you are just being imperfect, not mediocre. Attaining perfection itself would depend on many factors most of which may not be under your control, but the attempt towards attaining perfection is surely under your control and that pulls you out from the crowd that is content with staying mediocre.

Yes, even if you're the moon, this world is going to debate about your grey craters asking whether that's flaw or beauty, so while the debate can go on about the frame of reference in the argument on perfection, the argument on mediocrity is fairly objective. There may be enough room in this world for all our imperfections, but I am not sure how much does exist for our mediocrities. It may be alright to be imperfect, but I don't think it is, to be mediocre!

The traveller, the wanderer and the nomad

It was a whirlwind, not exactly all over the country, but at least in all the directions of the country. The last three months had been packed with travel - most of it for business and a little for leisure. A bit of Gujarat and a bit of Goa, a bit of Delhi and a bit of Rajasthan, a bit of Bengal and a bit of Jharkhand, a bit of Andhra and there was even a trip to Bangalore. The last leg to Chennai and around is still pending and I may do that sometime in October or may postpone to some other time. But the good thing about the entire whirlwind was that I didn't have to do it alone.

I was kind of exhausted after every trip, because it was almost like traveling for the entire week, coming back in the weekend, packing and getting ready for the next trip. I would almost struggle to recollect immediately when I wake up in the morning, which city I was in. Logging in from the airport, attending calls from the railway station, making presentation decks in the taxi, sleeping in the bus stand - would have been a good short film to make out of.

Evidently I was not able to write anything here, and I don't expect to write anything for some more time, because there is a lot to catch up everywhere. And how much will I be able to write after that - I will leave it to life, its responsibilities and commitments to decide for themselves.

The Celebrity loop of Movies, Sports, Corporate and Politics

How many sportspersons have dated movie stars! How many movie stars have married industrialists! How many industrialists have family alliances with politicians!

Sachin Tendulkar is nominated to the Parliament, his century is felicitated by the Ambanis, and his family wedding will be attended by the Bachhans. When Sharukh Khan is stopped at the US airport, when he has a brawl at the cricket stadium, when he plays loud music on his birthday - they're all headlines. Don’t get me started about Aishwarya Rai’s motherhood or Manisha Koirala’s bibulous appearance. I’m not talking just about the greats here. Our celebrityhood obsession pervades the entire spectrum - from Rahul Gandhi to Rahul Sharma, from Anil Ambani to Anil Kapoor, from Pranab Mukherjee to Rani Mukherjee. How did all of this start? Why are we so obsessed with celebrities?

When the erstwhile East India Company first explored conquering India, they had sent a noted statesman to qualify the exploration. The statesman wrote back to the British Parliament saying he travelled across the length and breadth of the nation and only found high moral people of great caliber, and that if the British need to have any opportunity to make inroads, they first have to hit our self esteem. And thence was created the strategy that they will make anything foreign sound superior to the Indians, including the English language. Voila, they managed to do that so successfully that even after more than half a century of their exit, we are still obsessed with anything that is not our own. Nothing specific about Indians here, this is just natural human behaviour. Do celebrities personify that very same behaviour in us?

We want to be a hero, and our movie stars epitomize that. We want to knock any opponent out, and our sports persons typify that. We want to be able to make money, and our industrialists lead the way. We want to rule the world, and our politicians do that so well. Why wouldn’t we be obsessed with them? Distance does lend enchantment, whatever it be on the other side. Doesn’t necessarily have to be a movie star who attracts us, it can even be our neighbour. Anyone other than our spouse. Doesn’t necessarily have to be an industrialist, even our uncle who buys an expensive car can do the job. Anyone other than our father. It just takes a little bit of introspection to find out that if we believe in ourselves, if we are motivated from within, if we stand for what we’re, no force in this world can stop us from becoming what we want to.

All I want to say is, keep growing yourself, be attracted to yourself, fall in love with yourself, this world will follow you. You're the master of your own destiny. You're as as unique, as special, and as great as everyone else is. Stop looking at this world to find yourself, you’re what you’re. Look into yourself, and you never will have to look outside.

Are we passing the buck of responsibility?

Interesting things keep happening around to motivate me to write something, don't they? While I totally accept that the Members of the State Assembly better perform their duties well and not watch dirty videos during a working session, especially in a country where supposedly no one watches them, I am not sure how to differentiate watching in the Assembly, a dirty video from a normal movie or from reading a magazine or from reading a novel. Shouldn't all of these deserve the same punishment?

Unfortunately the people and the media don't think so. "When you're in power you better be responsible." I surely agree with this point. "People look up to you for inspiration, so you better behave inspiringly." I agree with this point too. In fact, it was the same line of argument that the Indian Government brought up when it tried to ban smoking scenes in movies. Interestingly, the same people and media did not like that idea. "If someone is going to smoke, he will smoke regardless of what the hero does." "A Don character cannot go without puffing smoke on screen." I agree with both the reasons.

But how is the inspiration logic different here? People's justification is that a real life inspiration is different from a reel life one. This is an extremely difficult supposition for me to support, but if people think that there are more teenagers looking up to our politicians for inspiration than to our movie stars, fine, I will take the point, I have not conducted market surveys. The moral of the story so far is that you can't expect the entire population to be responsible, do as much as you can to prevent bad inspirations and wrong motivations. With power comes responsibility. Perfect.

Now look at the picture on the left. The protestors are asking the entire population to be responsible while they want to have the freedom of their choices. This is perfectly fine too, people better be given the freedom to do what they want to, without harming others. The eyes that look at an art should be blamed and not the art itself. Ah, did I rake up an MF Hussain controversy here?

Don't get me wrong, there is surely nothing like telling the rapists, they ought to be punished, brutally. But do you see a blame game in all this? When others fall down, it's their clumsiness, while when we fall down, it's the misplaced stone. When others succeed, it's chance, while when we succeed, it's our effort. When it comes to others, they have to be responsible, while when it comes to us, still others have to be responsible. And leaders have no choice. Is it time we rose above the mediocrity of passing the buck? Absolutely no doubt that a leader has to be more responsible, but I think everyone has some power to be responsible and while it is fine to expect others to be responsible, it is finer to be responsible ourselves too.

My name is Ozymandias

I’ve come down for a wedding and I’ve a few more hours to check out of the hotel. There were a few other weddings too happening in the hotel, but looks like I’m the last one remaining to leave, everyone else seems to have left. As my heart was wishing happiness to all those newly wedded souls, I went around, only to see all the structures that were so lively till a few hours back sport a deserted appearance. Old structures were getting dismantled and new ones were coming up in their places.

I went through this during my own wedding as I saw those sets getting dismantled the next day. And that was not the first time a "dismantling" had created this feeling in me. Is this weekend a culmination of all those past weekends spent thinking about attachment and detachment, about emotions and reason, about shallowness and depth, about enjoying life at the moment and enjoying living itself, about being useful to oneself and being useful to others?

As I was thinking of all this, my eyes fell on the lovely ashtray in my room. I can already imagine all that it would’ve seen in its years of existence. A happy couple loving each other? A routine family with its usual fights? A group of friends partying? A loner having a sad cup of coffee? A businessman with a drink? But what is it all about? All the decoration and all the proclamation, all the music and all the dance, all the happiness and all the excitement, all the people and all the life:

And on the pedestal these words appear:
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

May be living for oneself is like breathing, but I think true living has to be about living for others. Sure, we didn’t carry anything when we were born and we won’t carry anything when we’re gone, but I think, we can die as someone who thought beyond himself, we can die as someone who was useful to this world, we can die as someone who made a difference to the lives of a few creatures around him. As we continue to breathe, let us not forget - we've to live too!

Is it all worth?

"Priyanka Chopra was in a translucent sari strewn with zardozi trinkets and a border to match, providing the winter-struck Berliners a warm glimpse of her well-chiseled physical assets."

This struck me like a lightning. I felt ashamed. For some time now, I've been puzzling myself about how have the women of the society been sadly made to become objects. Is it just nature that women were made to attract and men were made to fall? May be it's no longer about attracting or falling, or may be it still is, but let us dissect this a bit with a childhood incident of mine.

In buses in India, when the conductor doesn't have sufficient change to return, he signs behind the ticket and asks you to collect the change later. If you forget, you miss the change, and the money is his. I used to get down at the last stop, so I see the conductor tally his records every day. One such day, as the conductor was holding a conversation with the driver, I heard him say, "Let us see how many fools have left their money, we can use it for our drinks today". Oops! That was all enough. A realization dawned on me - "I am not going to give away anything to anyone for free. Let him deserve it. Else, neither does he know how to handle it responsibly nor does he know how to make the best use of it."

Coming back to our men-women discussion, when did it all start? Why is it that women wear lesser clothes compared to their men counterparts? If you'd any doubts, try observing the pictures above. But wait, it's not about less or more, it's about looking smart, right? Sure, women look smarter in these clothes, I will buy that argument. But that is my point. Read on.

Have you seen these young college going guys rip off in their motorcycles with a loud noise? Have you seen them with tight shirts and coloured hair, trying to behave like film heroes? Girls, what have you thought about them? "Ah these morons!" Right? There are some real morons who try to misbehave, but let us leave them aside. I am talking about these harmless kids whose motive is just to show off and attract attention through their smartness. Guys may not remark, "Ah these moronesses!", but I assume you know there is a comment coming out of their radio scanning.

Now, why will you have to tune your living for these morons? Absolutely, please don't. I know you're just dressing the way you want to, not necessarily to look smart or to attract. If the eyes looking at you are improper, that is not your problem. If girls dressing sexily is bad, men shaving is bad too. Combing your hair is bad, ironing your clothes is bad. So where do we draw the line?

I wish we never had to draw any line. But as much as I wish I could leave my house doors open when I leave for work, I also wish the security was foolproof in every nook and corner of the world. Between my ideal wish of the former and the practical impossibility of the latter, I think it's fine that we find a middle ground and lock our doors when we leave our house. I really admire art in every form and for that matter I respect Vidya Balan and The Dirty Picture. But is it all worth? I am not sure, this world has gone too far from deserving any free lunch.

East or West, Heart is the Best

The picture on the left, that looks more like some coastal place in India is actually a picture clicked in the US by a friend of mine. The one on the right, that appears more like a National Park in the US, is actually something another friend clicked in India. The one in the middle is what I clicked a few years back when I was probably flying somewhere in the middle of these two countries. You will understand towards the end the correlation between these pictures and the post.

I've had numerous discussions with people about the Western and the Eastern world. Obviously, confirmation bias in me always put East ahead of West, only to change later towards neutrality.

Before I first went to the US, I warned myself about the shooting incidents there. But when I did my research, I realized the absurdity of my assumption. How many such incidents happen in the US? Compare it against 30,000 murders that happen in India every year, 100,000 thefts and 50,000 riots. Absolute numbers can be misleading, I agree, but India's per capita crime rate is not very pleasant either. And these are only the reported numbers. You and I know how much of information is "reported" in India. My information weapon was thence vociferously destroyed!

Once, I was talking to a friend against the US and told him - "I hate this place because I feel it's all about brain and no heart here. I am happier living amidst my loving people, even if it means it's a sub-standard place". He replied - "I think that is an extremely biased statement. How is it that you feel politicians and gundas occupying your piece of land, that you so dearly earned with all your savings of life only to be threatened for life when approached, is all heart and no brain?" Voila, my socialism weapon was destroyed too!

To another friend I said, "I like being in India where I can knock my neighbour's door if I need some help in the night, I can stop my car on the highway and ask for directions, I can give my house keys to a nearby shop when I'm going out, than being in the US only to find out that even if my house is on fire, I've to call 911 for help." The friend replied, "Yes, but I'm not exactly sure how everyone has an opinion about your life, seeming to know so much about how you've to live than you know it for yourself?" Ah, my community weapon was also destroyed!

To friend three, I said "I like living in India where I can stay with my parents and relatives, sleep between them, grow among them, and be bounded by love and affection than by comfort and quality of life, without the togetherness". The friend replied - "I don't know how you can say this when all of you leave for office before eight, reach only after eight, spend three hours on the road daily, and don't even have time to spend with your children, forget about having time to spend with parents and relatives." The last of my weapons, the family weapon was also destroyed!

With all my weapons destroyed, I realized I was just biased - listening to everyone around me, many of whom have not stepped out of their town, many of whom still think North Indians are dangerous or South Indians are cunning, many of whom don't even know how many states exist in the North East, many of whom still don't let the so called lower castes into their houses, many of whom think India is so close to nature when you can't even breathe fresh air.

If living in the US is wrong, then all of us Indians living in the city should probably be living in the villages that gave our grandparents to this world. If loving the US is wrong or marrying some other country is wrong, then none of us should love or marry until our parents have left this world. If asking a superficial "How are you?" is wrong, then asking a heartfelt "How are you?" is also wrong, if you can't do anything about it if the other person replies "No, I'm not fine".

US-India is a combination I've evidently discussed a lot about, so I just stuck to it, but this is largely true about any West-East discourse. I think it's all about perceptions. Not all of what the East thinks about the West is right and not all of what the West thinks about the East is right. The truth is, every place is unique, every person is special. Whatever does exist superficially, as long as the trace of love exists in everyone, this planet will continue to survive. Be it the "Everyone together" philosophy of the East or the "First You" attitude of the West, I think it's not Home, but the Heart that is the Best!