Glass houses

As I was beginning to learn the Kannada alphabet, I found it both difficult and confusing, as is mostly the case with any new thing you try. Letters like ಒ (o) and ಜ (ja) that have no connection between them looked similar, as if they were vowel variants of the same consonant. Similar to this were ಘ (gha) and ಫ (pha), just to name one more pair. When I looked at the Tamil alphabet to see how it was doing, I realized that it has many such pairs too - ஏ (ae) and ர (ra), ள (la) and ன (na), etc. Hindi was no exception, for example इ (i) and ड (da), घ (gha) and ध (dha); I'm sure English has such pairs too.

A Tamil friend who went for a six-month German class before his six-week Germany trip made fun of me for roaming around with a Kannada book. I asked him why hasn't he learnt Kannada these six years in Karnataka, of course with a jovial tone. I would've been happy had he told me he was lazy or didn't find time or found it difficult or felt it was not needed; I know we don't have infinite time and energy. But his answer was "Come on, I can't learn this jalebi, all letters look the same". I told him "Believe me, Tamil is no better and its letter இ (i) is the most complex letter I've ever known and most closely resembles a jalebi." I felt like receiving a slap myself, for I was no different some time ago. Now I learn and forget, refresh and remember - but I'm ashamed that I can't speak Kannada fluently even after these many years in Bangalore.

Through this post I want to tell myself that when we live in a glass house, it's sometimes ok to throw stones at others if we have good intentions; that is like our parents advising us to become doctors and engineers, even though they're not one themselves. Sometimes we even tend to slip though we take extreme care to preach what we believe and follow what we preach, which is also perfectly fine; we're all just humans. But I think many times we ridiculously fall prey to our own contempt and either trivialize things we don't believe in or get biased by people we are more bothered about. I think with thousands of years of humankind, it's time for us to not just accommodate, but also appreciate each other. Wait a second, are we even accommodating yet?

All the world's a school

I can't list down all my learnings in life, but if you give me just a few seconds to think, I would say - my best learning in school was when the same teacher who taught me "Truth triumphs", also taught "Sometimes untruth is the best truth"; the best learning from my father was when he who helped me know what I like and what I don't, also said "If someone asks for the red, you should take the blue, even if you like the red"; the best learning from my mother was when she who taught me to live by myself, also told "The best use of life is to be useful to others".

And this post will be too short to tell the best learning I have had from each of you. From small things like "You use too many exclamation marks in your sentences" and "You should brush your teeth before going to bed", to deep thoughts like "Everybody thinks he has to adjust for all others every time" and "What seems right to you is not necessarily right to everyone"; the list is endless. I still can vaguely remember the scene when I cried as I was left into what I thought was my first classroom, I didn't know I was already admitted into this school of all of us three years before that. How many teachers, how many peers, how many seniors, how many juniors - and strangely enough all of us keep switching roles!

You have helped me learn so much in this school - pseudo-races for me to know what it takes to come first and what it means to come last, pseudo-tasks for me to know what it takes to lead and what it means to follow, pseudo-happiness to know why I should make others happy, pseudo-pains to realize what everyone goes through otherwise, pseudo-successes to understand what progress is, pseudo-failures to know what the process is. Some of those threw me out of my equilibrium and some helped me gain it back; some made me feel good about this world while some pretended to do the opposite, everything just for me to learn.

I am learning everyday and phase-by-phase. With every phase I'm looking myself from the opposite side, and then I turn back and face the same side. If I don't contradict myself, am I probably not growing? If I find myself great, have I probably not examined myself carefully? If I don't learn, am I probably not living? Regardless of whether or not I do all this, you still try to teach me in the best possible way every time, even if it means the harshest way; I've enjoyed so far and am eagerly looking forward to more enjoyment. This post is my gratitude to all of you for having me in (y)our school.

Learning is not compulsory, neither is survival - Edwards Deming.

Are you the right you?

Nobel peace prize for Obama - while I gasp a wow, I don't think anyone would have expected this. I'm sure there're going to be multiple debates on this, so I'll choose NOT to discuss about the worthiness of the award. But my first reaction - it does not matter who believes in you or who doesn't, as long as you believe in yourself, you have a leader in you.

I was fortunate to be in the US during its last election and I was able to see a country cry for change. Their elections are a little different from ours; apart from the processes, the striking difference I found was people do not fear to tell in public whom they voted for; such is the transparency in their operations, such is the advancement in their society and such is the protection in their legal system.

Whenever I got the opportunity I used to ask my American colleagues, "Do you believe in Bush?" and without exception they replied "Not any more". The rising terrorism, the wars, the economy, global warming - people definitely needed a change. And Obama was their ray of hope, his dreams were surely bigger than any other person they knew to be living. Even as the orthodox, the rascist and the regressive did not approve of his nomination, the wave gently shifted towards Obama as he won over Clinton for his candidature, over McCain for his presidentship and over critics for his leadership.

When people make fun of you for your middle name, when people abuse you for your colour and when people criticize you for your inexperience, it needs a strong character to stand up and tell "Look I believe in myself, will you believe in me?" Well, even Gandhi was hated by half the country, and there're people who don't believe in God. Why get bogged down by people who ridicule your capability, why go into a shell when you face failures, why get affected by criticisms, why settle cozily in your comfort zone? Just believe in yourself!

Yes, you've to be at the right place at the right time, but before that, you've to be the right you. Are you the right you?

How often do you witness such courage

I saw a TV programme where Kamal Haasan was answering a question in a live debate - "I've lot of respect for the institution of family because it symbolizes unconditional love. But marriage is a legal handcuff that caters love based on conditions. Why do we expect a few things from our spouse that we don't expect from our parents or siblings?" In short he was trying to ask an obvious question - why do you expect your spouse to be so-called-faithful TO YOU when you don't expect it from the other entities of the institution of unconditional love called the family.

A tight slap on each of our perceptions, ego, self-centredness and what not! You'll notice that the slap was even tighter if you realize that these rules were mostly set by the men of the society and the women got a pretty raw deal, just as how the upper caste set the rules against the lower caste of the erstwhile Indian society. If you're someone who thinks marriage is a nobler bond than any of the other bonds in the society, you might find it difficult to appreciate this. But if you're someone who thinks possessiveness is just a decent term given to selfishness in a relation, you will surely appreciate this. I'm right now scared to type more, I'm not as brave as Kamal. So I'll choose not to continue until I see how I handle this selfishness myself.