My evolution

[Read the Apr 13 post before this]

Evolution, I thought was mostly about monkey becoming man. But yes, as we all know, there's an evolution happening internally in each one of us as we grow. I've changed so much, within myself from the simplest things to the most complex things of life. One simple example, I had never hesitated to borrow something from a friend during college days, be it a little bit of shampoo or some money. But now, I prefer not to do that. I didn't have a blazer for my ISB interview, but I decided to go without it than borrow. Yes, I'm liking being less dependent. I'm sure many of you are feeling the same way too.

A few days back, some of us, old friends had a get-together and they wanted to watch a movie. It's been really long since I stopped watching movies unless there's no other better way to spend the time together. A few years back, I would've been the first person to suggest a movie. But now I said "No, I don't want to watch any movie". Well, that's another change, I've started saying no for things I don't like.

Yesterday, I saw my street getting leveled with bulldozers and road-rollers. I asked them "So finally, road"? They said "No, the MLA's father has expired, we're leveling road to the graveyard". What a reason to get the road leveled! Not long ago, I would've just had a hearty laugh at this. But yesterday, I got angry. This feeling of anger and frustration at things around me about which I am not able to do anything, is definitely a change in me.

But, the most wonderful change of all, I have learnt to move on. I didn't expect I would forget about my girlfriend within a month's time of losing her. Now and then she definitely haunts me, but I think I'll be able to manage. Yes, I've found a new girlfriend. We're planning to get engaged in a couple of weeks; marriage would be sometime early next year. I have uploaded her picture in picasa. More details about her soon.

My ugly mathematics of falling in love

(scripted ... sorry, feeling too bored)

Friend: Hi
I: Hi, I've been listening to this Tamil song Netru illadha maatram since dinner over and over. I don't know if I listen to this song when I'm in a romantic mood or get into a romantic mood when I listen to it, but I'm feeling romantic now.
Friend: I can see something fishy here. Let me also listen to it.
I: I'm happy today for no reason. At the same time I'm feeling bad that I'm missing something. I think I'm in love ;-)
Friend: Wow, who's the girl?
I: I don't think it's a girl, because I'm sure I'll know if it's a girl.
Friend: What? Is it a guy?
I: Oho! I think I'm in love with life as such.
Friend: That's even worse, now don't kid. Tell me who's it.
I: There are so many uncertainties in life. We plan something and something else happens, we re-plan. There's a change again and then another plan. Still something goes wrong somewhere. I'm just loving this challenge.
Friend: I won't believe all that. Who's the girl? But yes, love is a wonderful feeling. It might be a pain to call everyday and say "I love you", but then when you are in love, everything around you is so nice, even if your manager yells at you.
I: Have we spoken about my mathematics of love?
Friend: Now what's that?
I: I'll tell only if you agree not to beat me up next time we meet.
Friend: Haha, sure.
I: Well, there are different stages of love. When you reach stage 'n', you'll start to question yourself if you're in love. When you're in 'n+1', you'll know that you can't live without that person. When you're in the 'n-1' stage, you'll know that the person is coming closer and closer to you. But you'll have that one last chance to arrest your feelings and see clearly, beyond which you'll already be drowned in love. But the problem with this god damn love is you'll meet that one person who'll make your n-1=n=n+1 in zero time. I don't think I've met that one girl till now. Or may be I've, but either she didn't come to a stage close to n, or I stopped myself voluntarily or involuntarily.
Friend: I couldn't appreciate in the first reading, but I read it the second time and it is nice. It makes sense.
I: There was a time when I used to think arranged marriages are inferior to love marriages. But, thanks to the equal number of my friends who've had arranged marriages and love marriages, I now know that both marriages have the same kind of problems and pains, and the same kind of happiness and bliss. The only question that remains is will our parents be able to find the right match for us as much as we'll be able to. There's a variable called probability, another one called destiny and so many more. Whoever finds the girl, all these variables can do anything to our married lives. So, I've not only got hope in arranged marriages now, but also started to believe that nothing is superior or inferior.
Friend: Yeah, that's true. With that note, I'll listen to the song one last time and go to sleep.
I: Hmm, I'll also. Good night.