It's been a month since I landed back in India. I call it my one-year honeymoon in the US when I speak about the trip to my friends. If not anything, I was learning something everyday. Wow, what a land it is! How much do I love US? To an extent that I just want to stay there. But will I relocate? No, I want to be in my country and do whatever I can to transform it. Will I achieve what I want to? Well, even a fool would answer no, and I'm not going to say a yes, but then I'll be happier being here and "trying" to do what I want to than being there and enjoying all of it. But who knows, I might lose the zeal as time sails and in 2020, I might have taken an apartment in the bay area.
What has changed in the one year? Well, Bangalore roads haven't. Bomb blasts and terrorist attacks have become more than fortnightly events. My parents have started talking about my marriage. My friends are getting married one-by-one. I visited Madurai to just see how much of it has changed, mm not much. In all, there are many changes and there aren't many. Well, most of these I expected. But there is one thing I definitely didn't expect - the lack of cheer in my great old friends.
Coming after a year I felt like hugging and kissing everyone right at the Brigade-MG Road junction, but then I don't see that old cheer in many of them. I don't know who has grown old faster, but there's a definite disconnect. I agree, people change, people get new friends, their priorities change, we could've spoken for one hour then, but now even five minutes would be difficult. That much I expected. But then I also expected five minutes of "wow, so long, things've changed so much" kind of conversations. But what I see are dull "mm", "oh" conversations. I HATE THIS.
I am not complaining, but I know it's time for me to transform too. I've started my transformation. If my old friends who still have not transformed, speak to me after a year, probably they'll be as shocked as I'm today. May be I've already shocked many. Or may be I've not matured enough. I don't know, but I know I need to move on. I don't want to be a loser. All I wanted to say through this post is "Sorry" to some of my friends and "Catch you soon" to a few others. If you're my friend and reading this, you know which of those I'm telling you.
What has changed in the one year? Well, Bangalore roads haven't. Bomb blasts and terrorist attacks have become more than fortnightly events. My parents have started talking about my marriage. My friends are getting married one-by-one. I visited Madurai to just see how much of it has changed, mm not much. In all, there are many changes and there aren't many. Well, most of these I expected. But there is one thing I definitely didn't expect - the lack of cheer in my great old friends.
Coming after a year I felt like hugging and kissing everyone right at the Brigade-MG Road junction, but then I don't see that old cheer in many of them. I don't know who has grown old faster, but there's a definite disconnect. I agree, people change, people get new friends, their priorities change, we could've spoken for one hour then, but now even five minutes would be difficult. That much I expected. But then I also expected five minutes of "wow, so long, things've changed so much" kind of conversations. But what I see are dull "mm", "oh" conversations. I HATE THIS.
I am not complaining, but I know it's time for me to transform too. I've started my transformation. If my old friends who still have not transformed, speak to me after a year, probably they'll be as shocked as I'm today. May be I've already shocked many. Or may be I've not matured enough. I don't know, but I know I need to move on. I don't want to be a loser. All I wanted to say through this post is "Sorry" to some of my friends and "Catch you soon" to a few others. If you're my friend and reading this, you know which of those I'm telling you.
I do not see why I should e'er turn back,
ReplyDeleteOr those should not set forth upon my track
To overtake me, who should miss me here
And long to know if still I held them dear.
They would not find me changed from him they knew--
Only more sure of all I thought was true.
One frown, I will lose my day
ReplyDeleteOne smile, I can live a year
Well, I don't find this blog relevant any longer ... I've found myself. :-)
ReplyDeleteI think I was trying to find myself in others.
Dont worry naren, I think its just that everyone is in that phase where everyone is searching "what is my purpose in life, what is it that I am supposed to accomplish in life" (philosophical ;).
ReplyDeleteI agree Gopa.
ReplyDelete