What has changed in
this one month for the tiger? Well, the world knows something that it didn't know last month. And what is it? That the tiger was unfaithful. Isn't that his personal matter and not something that you and I should be commenting at? I don't think our respect for the tiger should enfeeble unless we come to know that he cheated to become the tiger. Thinking laterally, what has he done that none of us has?
If having a crush on someone during high school and loving someone else later is infidelity, I'm sorry, blame 80% of the men. If having loved someone and marrying someone else is infidelity, blame 60% of the women. If having married someone and remarrying someone else when the partner leaves is infidelity, blame social reformists like Raja Ram Mohan Roy. But if you're blaming someone because he did not follow the rule that biased people created for their own benefits, I'm sorry, I beg to differ - all of us have just escaped because there's no rule against similar acts that we otherwise keep doing.
If as a child, you think your love for your parents doesn't reduce after you get married; if as a spouse, you feel your love for your partner doesn't reduce after you become a parent; if as a worshipper, you think God's love doesn't reduce because he gives you failures; as a rational interpreter, I should only think that someone's love doesn't reduce because he loves someone else too. I agree, that might not be the case every time, but if there's anything, it's up to the concerned people to clarify it between themselves and not for anyone outside to evaluate. We should just stop ridiculing and ask ourselves - Are we faithful? If our answer is yes, I think we're mostly lying.
Disclaimer: I am not against the concept of marriage. I don't believe you should love someone more than you love your spouse. I am not saying people should follow whatever their mind says. But according to me, infidelity is to tell someone "I love you" when you actually don't. And nothing else. I am surely not a supporter of adultery, but to me this is like how Sanyasa disapproves Grihasta; it does not mean Grihasta is sinful. Scholars please excuse me for my ignorance. You're welcome to disagree, after all that is what this post is all about - tolerance to different faiths.
this one month for the tiger? Well, the world knows something that it didn't know last month. And what is it? That the tiger was unfaithful. Isn't that his personal matter and not something that you and I should be commenting at? I don't think our respect for the tiger should enfeeble unless we come to know that he cheated to become the tiger. Thinking laterally, what has he done that none of us has?If having a crush on someone during high school and loving someone else later is infidelity, I'm sorry, blame 80% of the men. If having loved someone and marrying someone else is infidelity, blame 60% of the women. If having married someone and remarrying someone else when the partner leaves is infidelity, blame social reformists like Raja Ram Mohan Roy. But if you're blaming someone because he did not follow the rule that biased people created for their own benefits, I'm sorry, I beg to differ - all of us have just escaped because there's no rule against similar acts that we otherwise keep doing.
If as a child, you think your love for your parents doesn't reduce after you get married; if as a spouse, you feel your love for your partner doesn't reduce after you become a parent; if as a worshipper, you think God's love doesn't reduce because he gives you failures; as a rational interpreter, I should only think that someone's love doesn't reduce because he loves someone else too. I agree, that might not be the case every time, but if there's anything, it's up to the concerned people to clarify it between themselves and not for anyone outside to evaluate. We should just stop ridiculing and ask ourselves - Are we faithful? If our answer is yes, I think we're mostly lying.
Disclaimer: I am not against the concept of marriage. I don't believe you should love someone more than you love your spouse. I am not saying people should follow whatever their mind says. But according to me, infidelity is to tell someone "I love you" when you actually don't. And nothing else. I am surely not a supporter of adultery, but to me this is like how Sanyasa disapproves Grihasta; it does not mean Grihasta is sinful. Scholars please excuse me for my ignorance. You're welcome to disagree, after all that is what this post is all about - tolerance to different faiths.
Vittu ghum, Vittu ghum! Generally, I don't comment. But since, its a topic I was thinknig about because of my special affinity to Sports, i think my thoughts are more or less similar. Not the same, but very similar, kalakku, kalakku...
ReplyDelete>> Isn't that his personal matter and not something that you and I should be commenting at?
ReplyDeleteEjjatly, and thats ejjatly what we all (you and me) are doing here now ;-)
Ya, like the "Please stop the spam" mail :(
ReplyDeleteShall I delete this post?
I deleted it, but I'm posting it back now, as I'm seeing more and more ridicule from the general public on someone's private life. Just my small way of protest :(
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel the same about Mr. Clinton as well.
ReplyDeleteI agree that its none of our business what they do with their personal life.
On the other hand, I think that the public is worried about the wrong example he might be setting to his fans/followers.....With power/fame comes responsibility.
This takes us now to the question whether what he did was right or wrong! By the rules we have put to ourselves, it seems wrong....I don't see a point in questioning the rules itself. When everything becomes subjective, then there is no right or wrong. I don't want to go down that path with this argument.
Its a viewpoint you might want to consider as well. Thats all.
I was thinking why the tiger apologized.. And how did this sudden realization happen? And is this tabloid scrutiny really required?
ReplyDeleteRather than you and me opining on this issue, I was interested in reading the tiger's opinion..
http://web.tigerwoods.com/news/article/200912027740572/news/
ennamo po.. naa celebrity aana udanae indha madhiri news ellaam velila vandhaa.. mavanae yaarayum summa vida maaten..
Another way to look at it is like this - you ask to be made a manager and then you complain "why do I have to listen to my reportees asking me for a hike" !!
ReplyDeleteSure, why'll I not agree with any of you? I'm just arguing loud - one of my split personalities says "You better follow the rule" while the other asks "So, what's the rule?"
ReplyDeleteYes, when we question the rule itself, the distinction between right and wrong does get blurred. I don't know whether that's good or bad, but we surely have to ensure that breaking a rule does not violate the harmony created by following the rule. A friend used to tell me "For everything that anybody tells, I can argue with the same rationale both for and against" ... that's true.
Sehwag might not follow Dravid's rules. He might very well be setting a wrong example for young people. But we enjoy his game, don't we? Surely a wrong illustration, but I would say we're just biased - we accept things that we "feel" are good and refuse things that we "feel" are not. And we get even more biased if there is a rule to support our "feeling" and no rule to oppose the lack of our "feeling".
I'm extremely biased, I know that. And I want to get lesser and lesser biased as I grow older and older. I really don't know what that means, but I'm just glad that I'm capturing all this through this blog.
A nice video message worth watching in this context - http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/devdutt_pattanaik.html
I think you have over simplified the statement "marriage is beyond just physical relationship...so why bother about it" . Marriage is a union...KAYA, VACHA and MANASA. So when it said, its beyond just Kaya, its also vacha and manasa. Infidelity is the aspect that he did hide this information from his spouse. Why not make it clear to his wife that he wants to sleep with other women and have the relationship 3 way consensual. Smrithis which is more absolute say if you need to touch another woman who is not your wife, you need to marry her :-). So its actually not an issue to sleep with many people but do it in a rightful way...:-). Next part is why should we be talking about Tiger. I think considering the larger interest of the health of the society we can. Its our Dharma to expect a certain strength of character in our icons.
ReplyDeleteHigh funda for me, but point noted. Here is my essay reply.
ReplyDeleteI'm really happy that people are concerned about the society, but very much unhappy to see them ridicule. Will we do this to someone in our family?
If I ask 100 questions when my wife speaks with someone on phone, she'll obviously hide it from me when she goes out for dinner some day, not because she wants to hide, but because she knows I'm less mature. You can ask me "Do you think a thief hides from the society because he thinks the society is immature?", but I hope you are not as pathetic as I'm :)
I note down in my blog what I think is right and what I think is not, it's surely not the absolute right or wrong thing. Though I mention "you" and "we", it's actually me preaching to myself. With that confidence, I feel like telling something here.
To me loving, marrying, sleeping - is all the same ... for, what's there in the heart is the only permanent thing. Just because I don't sleep with my (boy) friend ;), my wife shouldn't assume that I love only her (No dirty interpretation here please). Probably I'll love my parents equally too, but surely not less.
I have the same Sanyasa-Grishasta take of my disclaimer for non-vegetarianism, for smoking, for drinking, for self-gratification or for any such thing. This is not about the right or wrong thing, this is about respecting the individual faiths of different people, just as probably how a Hindu respects a Muslim ... Ah wait, what did I say now?
All I wanted to say was just one thing. My respect for Swami Vivekananda didn't come down when I learnt that he was a smoker. So I just want to tell myself that my respect for Tiger Woods will not come down because I learnt that he did something I don't believe in.
I believe in something and each of you also believes in something. Great! But surely Tiger Woods believes in some other thing. If I tell what Tiger Woods believes is wrong and what I believe or what you believe is the only right thing, I'm probably being intolerant to others' beliefs.
Yes, very hazy, very grey, very subjective ... unfortunately! Someday I wish we are able to reach out to the humans of the Earth on Andromeda galaxy and see what they believe in.
Please send hockey sticks, cricket bats and cycle chains to my address.
all of us have just escaped because there's no rule against similar acts that we otherwise keep doing
ReplyDelete-> i agree