5 things to learn before you are 30

Life may be different things to different people. To some, it is about playing, to some it is about learning, to some it is about suffering and to some it is about liberating. Whatever it is, life is all about growing, in whichever form you look at it. 

If the first decade of our life is about growing through playing, the second is the decade of growing through learning. The third decade of our life is possibly the period when we become ourselves, and this is the decade of growing through unlearning. How well we played in our first decade and how well we learned in our second decade will go a long way in establishing who we become in our third decade, and these together will probably carry us through our sufferings and possibly liberate us from them in our subsequent decades.

3 reasons to work out, 10 places to visit before you die, 20 things to do when bored - we always like to associate numbers with our lists. And everybody has his or her own set of lists. Here goes my list of 5 things to learn before you are 30.

1. Know to respect, but learn to challenge

It is extremely important in your formative years to listen to and respect what you are told. You have to learn the basics, you have to know the rules - and most people around you are good at teaching you those. It is only when you cross your teens that you start to notice people falling short of what you want to know from them. Suddenly you start to realize that there are multiple answers to the same question and different people have different answers. That is because post their individual 20s, they had started carving out their own selves and their size would obviously not fit you. You are now a fully grown adult with your own set of limits or no limits that define you. While it is very important to have known to respect the world till your 20s, it is important to learn to challenge as you reach your 30s.

2. Know to be patient, but learn to be impatient

Patience is a great quality that can win you almost anything in life, for nobody can win against time and if you learn to work with it, you have not only learnt the art of patience, but also the art of winning. While it is important to stay patient believing in your hard work, it is also important to learn the art of impatience, because only the impatience to know more, to achieve more, to know and achieve more in quick time will get you to where you want to get to. You got to say "A for Apple" when you are 3, not when you are 30!

3. Know to say yes, but learn to say no

As much as it is absurd to imagine at 10 or 15 that you know the world, it is absurd to assume that you do not know the world when you reach your 30s. While it makes sense till you reach your adulthood, to say yes to most things thrown at you, it becomes critical to have figured out the principles that you want to stand for, as you reach 30s. In the process, you need to realize that yes is not always a great answer. People around you are not always right, they have compromised in life and will probably urge you to compromise. You have compromised many times in your life too. But this is the time to stand for yourself, for what you think is right. In the process, if you are proved wrong, so be it, you already know how to say yes anyway, don't you?

4. Know to follow, but learn to lead

You have followed enough. You know what your strengths and weaknesses are. You know when to follow and when not to. You probably know that you are good at leading where others fail to. Come the 30s, you better be prepared to lead, for your leadership can change something in this world, small or big. Leadership does not mean you need to have 100 people following you, you can even lead a one-man army and make a difference to this world, the world from which you have so far just consumed. Many times you have to follow, for contribution is critical, but some times, leading is the contribution.

5. Know to be attached, but learn to get detached

It is important to be attached to the results during your childhood, for only that can help you understand the pleasure and pain of winning and losing. But it is important during your adulthood to free yourself from all of it, because you will no longer have the time to exalt over wins or rue over losses. Life is bigger that any of those. Life is calling on you continuously, and you cannot afford to dwell on a particular deed too much. Do, not to achieve a result, but do because it is your responsibility. If you have still not learnt how to derive happiness out of catering to your responsibilities without attaching yourself to the results, you have some serious thinking to do.

You may challenge me in any of the above, you may say no to many of the above - it just means you are doing the right thing. You better find out what you need to have known and learnt by the time you are 30. My list is, and will certainly not be your list!