The moral dilemma

"Are you married?"
"No."
"So you don't have an earning wife. Are your parents working?"
"No, both of them are pensioners."
"Do you have a property in Bangalore?"
"Yes, I have a plot but that is under loan."

And I wanted a 15L loan. But after a whole-day of documenting work and one more follow-up, I got the loan sanctioned. Frankly, I didn't expect that it'll just be a one-day's job in a nationalized bank. But yes, I gave them at least some 50 documents, of mine, my parents', my sister's and my brother-in-law's. Had I not used some of my acquired negotiating skills over these years, I would have had to submit some 10 more documents, for which I would have had to run to Madurai.

But now the most difficult challenge - negotiating at office. The last one month at office has been more difficult than my GMAT preparation, the application process, the interview, the loan, the convincing I had to do my parents, the convincing I had to do myself and anything else related to my MBA. I am just back from my one-year US trip, so it was natural for people in office to expect me to stay for some more time. Forget about their expectations, I felt really bad to be quitting within six months of my return. But I knew my company does give long leaves for education under very rare circumstances in a case-by-case basis.

I spoke with my manager and the HR, then three directors and two VPs. Everyone replied alike - "Leave of absence is very difficult in our company even during normal times. Under the current economic roughs, thinking even one month ahead is a gallant effort and spending of every dollar is being scrutinized so heavily. So an LoA for a year is just not possible". That means I will have to run away by quitting. My conscience doesn't let me do that, but this MBA is so important for my life. If it's not now, it might probably not be ever.

Some people I've spoken with in office have been really friendly while some have been shockingly rude. Well, that happens everywhere - say with friends, some continue to impress with their hearts while some continue to disappoint with their indifference; say with relatives, some leave you in debt with their care while some make you run for the hills. It's a really complex equation that I'm still trying to understand - what is it that I have to do to "give" positive things to people and "get" positive things from them. I just hope I have done more positives than negatives in my life and that something positive happens in the next few days.

I am still speaking, still negotiating, still meeting more people to see if there is any door that can be opened for me. Whatever has to happen will have to happen in the next three weeks and I hope it happens for the good, for myself and for everyone around me. After all my MBA is for training myself for my social entrepreneurship.